I had two abortions. When I was in my early twenties I was forced to get the first one in spite of wanting to go to a local unwed mothers home. I remember they took me out of counseling group at the clinic because I was so upset. Later I was raped by my first husband and his brother nearly three years. I was, by that time, on so many anti-psychotics and street drugs to try to cope; I was in such pain inside.
I remember the doctor was talking about golf when he did the abortion. I hurt physically and my soul suffered so much. Later I learned he broke his neck on the way to the state capitol to do abortions and died. I suffered for years, suicide attempts, promiscuity, alcohol use, committed to mental hospitals and I had unbearable nightmares including what is called sleep paralysis .I never thought God would forgive me in spite of being born again at a young age.
One day He actually gave me a vision of my children at the ages they would have been, and finally I was at peace. But it took years of mental hell and sheer torture to finally forgive myself and heal my soul over having the abortions. People suffer after. Whether it is the father, who took someone to the clinic or the out-casting of yourself from a church when people find out. It should never be that way since God in His grace and mercy has enough loving kindness and forgiveness to forgive anyone involved in an abortion.
Thank you for what you do.
