I had an abortion in 2008, I was twenty-one years old. I did it because I had had a baby only three months before and I was scared I couldn't have a baby that soon. I told myself all these false excuses that I believed at the time. My boyfriend who is my husband now left this decision up to me, he didn't say yes or no; he said it was my choice.
While at the clinic I was horrified. I was experiencing all these emotions, I wanted to cry and leave. I wish that day there would have been a sidewalk counselor but there was none. The only friend I called said to stay and hung up on me, so I stayed.
My procedure was quick. It was never confirmed how far along I was. I was even told they couldn't find my baby on the sonogram but they went ahead with the abortion anyway. I didn't ask anything, I just wanted to get it over with.
Four years after the abortion I experienced the true feeling of regret and loss. I had not experienced this pain before. I realized what I had done. I now ask myself how would my baby look and now all I want is to see him/her when we meet with the Lord. I want to see him/her and all the children that were not loved by their mothers. I want to see them rejoice with their creator and enjoy the beautiful place he has prepared for them. That is the only thing that keeps me going.
