Testimonies

WOMB OF MOURNING

A broken heart – that’s what I have
 for the children I broke so long ago                                   
Precious ones within my womb
Waiting to see the morning
 But for them no morning came
Nights of sorrow was all they knew -
 A mother so inadequate and bereft of self 
 Could not provide and plan the nest.
The birth canal – a canyon of death
The first to come a child of shade
Your father wanted you,
The next two only your Father knows,                
 But He wanted you too.
I was the one who said,
 I won’t… I can’t… I don’t know how…
Your precious little bodies to hold,
To cloth and nurse somehow…
I wouldn’t hurt you if I knew you now.

I wish somehow I could see you come to me
 From homes of adopted love
Where others said,
 I will… I can   I know how.
Somehow I’d find the words to say,
Forgive me for rejecting you.
You’re fine, children of mine,
And I love you now.

“Bertie” Roberta
Spring 1989, Portland, Oregon