I had an abortion because I knew I didn't love the guy and was a new Christian who had not developed trust. I had no family support because mother died three years previous and father remarried. I was scared and had become extremely uncertain of myself and life since had lost my mom when I was nineteen.
During the procedure, I cried and kept saying please forgive me God, but they totally ignored my emotional state and performed the procedure without regard for how distraught I was during the procedure.
After the abortion, I definitely felt an emptiness inside and couldn't seem to gain a sense of balance or emotional stability. As time went on, I had a fear of having children believing I would run out on them as I had my aborted child. When others would look at pictures of babies in utero, I could not. I felt anxious and distraught whenever abortion was spoken of in church. My emotional stability just became more and more fragile. I had a nervous breakdown at 28 and after that occurred, it was brought to my attention that the abortion along with some other things in my life needed attention.
I began going to a Bible study after that but I can't remember what it was called. I just continued to pray and ask God to heal me. Also, after the study ended we had a memorial service for our unborn children. My daughter was named Melissa Dawn.
