had an abortion because the man that impregnated me was a friend; however, he
was of color, and my family was racist. Repeatedly, I was told that if I
delivered my child they were going to hang the baby along with the father in
the backyard, and I was disowned. That was said from my mother, step dad,
maternal grandparents, and also my dad. When I called my dad to tell him that I
used my student loan money ($500) and scheduled my abortion all I got in return
was in a dark place after my surgical removal. I turned to drugs and
alcohol with my student loan money. I dropped out of college and spent all my
money. I started living in my car and giving myself sponge baths in the
sink of my job’s bathroom at Dollar General.
being locked up for a possession charge, I started staying with a friend who
changed my view on parties and drugs. I got clean and started running. Although
I had gone through some drastic relationship breakups and moved far away from
home, I thought I was living the life I always wanted.
finding out I was pregnant, going to my OBGYN, and being told that
"technically this is my second pregnancy" is when I started feeling
my guilt again, but instead of being weak and turning to drugs I turned to God,
counseling, and only the best education for myself and for my unborn child.
relationship with the father turned extremely ugly, worse than I have ever had.
I had to file a protection order, but I made some bold decisions to still stay
within his area instead of living back with home. Because, once my
daughter was born, I thought that he could finally grow up and earn my trust
and gain a relationship with our daughter. In the meantime my daughter and I
live with my best friend/boyfriend with his two younger children. We are
safe, happy, healthy, and I am being the best mother I could have ever
I regret the decisions I made, especially after being told that my mother and
my grandmother both have had abortions before they had their children. I still
don't wish to abort a life god created. I believe deep down, if I had my baby,
my life would have been rough. But I am strong and I would have made it,
just like I am now, and that's why I am silent no more!