I was 21 when I had my first abortion. I was 23 when I had my second. I was an irresponsible person who drank heavily, and partied with illegal drugs whenever I had the chance. I had no connection to a God or a Higher Power. I had been raised Catholic, but that didn't stop me. I felt empty and hollow inside.
I remember going to the clinic to have the procedure done, taking some medication, hearing the sound of a vacuum, and passing out shortly thereafter. I was sickened when I came to, and carried that feeling with me as I recovered. I had a sense of loss, and knew I had gotten rid of an important piece of me.
I was a very messed up young adult who drank to forget. At 25, I cleaned up after trouble with the police. I have been sober for more than 9 years now. I regret my abortions although I've found God and the peace He brings.
As part of my journey through healing, I attended a Catholic retreat to give my children names and to acknowledge what I had done. Since then I have helped others in a twelve-step program, and that has brought me peace of mind. I now have hope, and know that God is taking care of all of us.