After reading a twenty-something’s rant about how abortion is a woman's right, I wrote this:
Pro abortion rants are so sad. Probably because they sound just like me twenty years ago.
I too, used contraception and let (I loosely use the term) "men" do whatever they wanted while I echoed," I am a modern woman in charge of ME and MY OWN BODY."
The pill failed and I got pregnant---aborted---still singing the tune IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!!! Then the drinking (which started, not with the abortion but when I poisoned myself with synthetic hormones and gave myself away) got out of hand and in a drunken haze I was raped. My hatred for men escalated to the point of being unable to trust or love a man. Even gave lesbianism a try to get all men out of my life.
But the truth was there. I gave myself to the urges of men and as a testament to my self hate, killed my baby. I saw and heard the heartbeat in the ultrasound. (I don't know if they still show women about to abort, their baby's ultrasound.) Back then I saw it and denied the truth. Lied to myself and drank the truth away.
Flash forward twelve years: the condom breaks with the same guy who got me pregnant last time. Coincidence? Not really, he was the only man I had sex with since the abortion, only man I loved. We cohabited, never committing cause deep down, neither of us wanted to be with the person who said it's ok to kill y/our child. It breaks all trust. He asked me to "marry" him cause this is the second time he knocked me up and we are in our thirties. Tick tick tick. I did and we are still married although we have serious trust issues.
In the OBGYN's office twelve years later, I see the same ultrasound. A heartbeat... but this one is the lucky one that I chose. The months following... that's when it really hit... What I did. I killed my child. I was no better than the woman who drowned her kids in the lake. Yet society says, "It's OK..." under the guise of "choice" like a baby is a latte; venti or grande … what kind of baby … what do you want?
My son is born... and the love is immeasurable. The pain of the truth hits again... I denied myself this! I stopped generations of people with a scrape and suck because of my selfishness and because of ideology! The mistakes of youth cannot be erased.
Four months later I became pregnant again. Another contraceptive malfunction. This time a girl. She is perfect and beautiful just like her brother.
Fast forward six years, my daughter starts bruising. Purple dots cover her body and she can't shake a cold. She is rushed to the emergency room and we are told she needs a bone marrow transplant. A sibling is her best shot for a cure. He brother doesn't match. There isn't a match in the database. WHAT DID I DO!!!!!!!!!! I played God, called it "choice" and my innocent children pay the price. One is dead, one is dying and the third is watching.
Let me tell you right now. I, the confirmed atheist, "liberated woman" --- knelt and prayed --- in the purest, most unselfish, pentinent way.... and God answered this horrific sinner with a miracle. He bestowed mercy on my daughter. She found her match. She had her transplant and is alive and well today.
I read your pro-abortion rant and cried.
Please learn from my mistakes. Keep it in your pants until you find a MAN who is worthy of you. Don't cheapen, poison or compromise yourself by contracepting or getting blind drunk. Don't feel like garbage because you allow a substandard male specimen to use you like a sperm dumpster. Don't allow yourself to perpetuate the hatred of men. (Those get in your panties, masturbating monkeys are not men). Because if we women do not hold them [men] to a higher standard they will never get there.
This life is beautiful and God graciously shows us the way to live. In your heart you know the truth. Have the conviction and self control to live in the light.
Abortion is death. Death to your unborn baby and death to your soul. Healing occurs with forgiveness, prayer and support from others who understand and love.
Don't kill your child for selfish reasons that you may regret. Choose life.