What Keeps me Going

  Adriana
Florida,  United States
 
 

I had an abortion in 2008, I was twenty-one years old.  I did it because I had had a baby only three months before and I was scared I couldn't have a baby that soon.  I told myself all these false excuses that I believed at the time.  My boyfriend who is my husband now left this decision up to me, he didn't say yes or no; he said it was my choice.

While at the clinic I was horrified.   I was experiencing all these emotions, I wanted to cry and leave.  I wish that day there would have been a sidewalk counselor but there was none.  The only friend I called said to stay and hung up on me, so I stayed.

My procedure was quick.  It was never confirmed how far along I was.  I was even told they couldn't find my baby on the sonogram but they went ahead with the abortion anyway.  I didn't ask anything, I just wanted to get it over with.

Four years after the abortion I experienced the true feeling of regret and loss.  I had not experienced this pain before.  I realized what I had done.  I now ask myself how would my baby look and now all I want is to see him/her when we meet with the Lord.  I want to see him/her and all the children that were not loved by their mothers.  I want to see them rejoice with their creator and enjoy the beautiful place he has prepared for them. That is the only thing that keeps me going. 

   
   
Priests for Life
www.priestsforlife.org