God has a plan

Rhode Island,  United States

My name is Rosa, I'm thirty-eight years old and the first thing I want to do is give all the praise, honor and glory to God and give him thanks for all his love and mercy because without him I would not have a testimony.

Until one year and a half ago I was living in darkness and in sin. At age seventeen, I started using drugs, alcohol and was promiscuous; that was my life and happiness, everything revolved around my addiction. I did not care about anything or anyone.

I have two children, the oldest Ashlee who is thirteen and the youngest is Francisco who is twelve; both with special needs.  Even though God sent me these two children with special needs that needed all my love and attention, I kept living in my world of darkness and sin and without measuring the consequences.  At age twenty-five I had two abortions.  Since I did not want to sacrifice my addictions I preferred to sacrifice my babies.

I remember when I went to the clinic; the people outside with signs, praying for me, telling me not to do it but I did not care, I just walked in and said to myself " It’s my body and my choice", but inside I was scared.  I remember going in and signing papers and paying $250.00 since Medical Assistance paid the rest.  As I walked in the room, I felt nervous and asked the nurse and the doctor about the procedure and they just said " don’t worry it will be over in no time" and tears ran down my face.  The nurse held my hand and kept asking “are you ok" I just responded yes, even though I was really scared and the procedure hurt and just listening to the vacuum they used was something petrifying.  I walked out and after that I built a wall and really kept living my life as if nothing had happened.

After one year and a half of my mother’s and mother in law’s prayers, I started going to church; I saw an ad inviting people to go every twenty-second of the month to different clinics to pray and intercede for these young women and children.  At that point I decided to participate but God’s plan was different and bigger.  He wanted me to have a personal encounter with him through an extraordinary retreat called Rachel’s Vineyard, a retreat that helps you heal and reconcile with God and your aborted children. At this retreat I experienced all the love He had for me, His mercy and His forgiveness and then I realized the horrible thing I had done.   I felt dirty, guilty, I felt a hole in my heart, I felt regret and hated myself and I felt I did not deserve God’s forgiveness or mercy.

Rachel’s Vineyard has been the beginning of my healing after my abortions.  It has helped me realize that God has a plan for everyone and that no matter what your sin is, He loves you and will forgive you.  He always has a choice, a plan, and a way for you to get through your situation.  That is why I ask that we join as one voice to pray for our children that are being killed and that they have a right to live just like God gave us the opportunity to live, that is why " I am silent no more".....

Priests for Life