Keeping it Quiet

New Jersey,  United States

I had an abortion because... I was too young and immature, and the father was irresponsible and even more immature than I was.

During the abortion procedure I experienced... anxiety.  I kept asking the other girls about their situation and experience.  I was so terrified.

Immediately after the abortion I felt... really confused.  Almost like it was a dream.  I was in denial for a long time and kept thinking I was never even really pregnant because during the abortion they put me to sleep and I don’t remember anything.

As time went on after the abortion I felt kind of different because for my generation it’s getting more and more normal for teens my age to get pregnant and whenever I told someone they would call me names like murderer.  I would be looked down on.   People would judge me not even knowing any of my reasons and story.   I learned to keep my experience quiet.

I never really found help or forgiveness.   At the time I didn’t know anyone who had experienced the same thing and until now I didn’t even know there were help groups.  At first I would always pray for forgiveness but after a few people saying hurtful things I started to believe some of it and stopped praying because I was ashamed.

My aunt had told me a little of her story and things she knew about this group and I was really interested in it.

Priests for Life