I had an abortion because I was sixteen and trying to hide my sexual activity, trying to keep presenting a "goody two shoes" image. I feel now, looking back, that I was coerced by the abortion clinic when they called me and told me the abortion would cost more money if I waited past the current 9-10 week pregnant that I was. My boyfriend and I came up with the money quickly -- I lied to my best friend for the cash. In the city where I lived, minors could get abortions without having to tell their parents or get their permission. I do not remember who told me about the particular abortion clinic, but it was certainly no friend.
Inside the clinic, I vaguely remember some kind of brief group counseling or group orientation. During the abortion, I can only remember seeing a jar filled with red fluid, hearing the abortion suction machine, and being in the recovery room after that, as well as being sent home with either some pills or a prescription. I don't remember much else. Immediately after the abortion, I left the building and burst into heaving sobs as I walked with my boyfriend. Within myself, I told myself that I will NEVER ever do that again -- I would NEVER ever have another abortion. When I got home, the immediate high fever and sickness made me bedridden for about two days, sick on the sofa at home, lying to my parents as to why I was so sick. I was convinced that the high fever had rendered me unable to ever get pregnant again or have any children.
As time went on, my life, health, and emotional state degraded. The aftermath of that abortion is that my usual "A" grades and my self-esteem dramatically fell in my last year of High School, though I did graduate; I also ended up hating my boyfriend and then broke up with him; then the depression, promiscuity, light drug use, lack of caring about myself, mental disconnect from myself, and hanging around with a completely wrong crowd, going down a wrong and dangerous path.
A few years later, I started attending church and I found help and forgiveness through hearing and receiving the Gospel of Jesus Christ! I was told that Jesus forgives sin, and the Christians at the church shared their stories about what Jesus had forgiven them of. I accepted Jesus as my Savior, Lord and Forgiver, and I started a new life in Christ! I then got involved in prolife volunteerism and learned so very, very much from the prolifers, which also helped me choose the full-day abortion healing workshop, and reading materials that helped me educate myself and learn how to educate others so they would not have to go through the devastation that I did.