Turning to Face the Truth

Washington D.C.,  United States

I had abortions because I thought I couldn’t afford children.  During the procedures I felt physical pain. The third was a pharmaceutical abortion.  I lost my baby in my bathroom.  It was not until that point that I realized the horror of it.  I had other children so it felt similar to giving birth. Then I realized what I did.

I immediately suppressed it.  I became pregnant again.  I kept the baby but suffered through depression and anxiety throughout the pregnancy culminating in a suicide attempt.  It was not until some months after being released from the hospital that I was led by God to read Revelations and Genesis.  Soon I realized that I had seriously grieved God and Jesus with the murder of my own children.  It took also some time to realize that the root of the willingness to commit such a horrible act repeatedly was a total lack of belief.  Although I claimed to know Jesus, my heart was far from Him- or I would have never done what I did.  I praise and thank Him for drawing me to Him to realize that I have lived my life doing the will of the evil one.

I thank Jesus for turning me to face my own evil and to confess my sins and seek reconciliation to God through Him.  I am now trying to live according to the teachings of Christ rather than giving in to the flesh and influence of evil.  I thank Jesus for His mercy.  I am still struggling with forgiveness.

Priests for Life