I had an abortion for a few reasons, my mother and I were sharing a one bedroom apartment, she was on disability, and I was taking seizure medication at the time which causes birth defects. We had no family but each other. Really I was scared. When I first told my one-year boyfriend, the first thing he said was "I’m not ready for a baby, I’m moving back to Pittsburgh to work with my dad". I panicked. The only thing I knew about them were it takes the "cell" out so the baby isn’t formed. I was SO very naive when I was younger. There were no computers out at the time as they are now. If I had researched about it more and found out the truth, I swear on my life there is no way I would have had one. I still cry and cry. I'm scared God won’t forgive me for such a horrible act, so scared. I'm Catholic.
The first day I had the abortion, the most frightening and dreadful moment was when I woke up and they gave me a pad!!!! I said what?? They told me I would be bleeding for a few days!!!! I cried and cried and cried in my closet for hours when I got home. They didn’t tell me that would happen. Nothing was explained to me when I went in. They just took me in the room and put the IV in to knock me out. Then I wake up bleeding.
The way I feel about abortion now is, even if you were raped you should still have the baby. There is no reason to not have it. I tell my husband, God forbid I get raped tomorrow, but I would still have the baby.
I find help when I go to church. I tried talking to a counselor a few years ago, no help at all. Reading the bible helps me. But, I still cry and beg for forgiveness everyday. I think having a baby will help me more than anything. So I beg my husband everyday.
This was so hard to write about. I've never done this before. I just want other girls to hear my story so they think twice before making a mistake. I can't explain how hard this is to write. I advise everyone not to do it.