Still healing

Wisconsin,  United States

I found out I was pregnant in the beginning of 2006. I already had a four year old daughter from a previous relationship and now I was pregnant again. I felt the pressure to have an abortion from my boyfriend at the time and I wasn't sure how I was going to cope with another child. I still lived at home with my parents and had substance abuse issues on top of that.  I went against my own morals and thought abortion would be the easy way out of the situation.

During the procedure itself I was emotionally numb.  I told myself it was for the best and tried to ignore my conscience yelling at me inside.  I knew it was so wrong.  Immediately after I tried to forget about what happened and move on with life and for a while I did.  Shortly after, when I sobered up and realized the reality of what I had done to this innocent baby, I was sick to my stomach.   Since 2006 and increasingly more I feel terrible.  I have shed innocent blood and I can never right the wrong I have done. I can never bring this child back. I will never meet him/her.

I murdered what God had given me.  I feel shame and regret that will never go away.  I pray one day Jesus will forgive me for I have committed a sin so disgusting out of my own selfishness.  I'm still healing emotionally and spiritually from what happened over six years ago and I really hope that one day abortion will be illegal again.  Please don't make the mistake I did.

Priests for Life