I first want to say that this was not a one night stand. I had been dating my boyfriend for almost a year and we were in love. His mother, however, did not care for me because I was not from "the right side of the tracks". She was the reason for my abortion. She insisted, saying that if I did not go through with it, she would press rape charges against me. She pressured me, and I gave in. The procedure was pretty much a blur. I do remember, however, saying that I changed my mind and I wanted to leave. By this time, I was strapped down to the table. They administered the anesthesia and the last thing I heard was someone laughing.
After the abortion, I felt so empty and guilty. I wanted to quit school but my mother would not agree to it, so I went back and went about my life as best I could. The stress of it took its toll and my boyfriend and I broke up. Mostly because I felt betrayed because he sided with his mother. Shortly after I graduated, I met my husband and we were married two years later. I silently struggled for years. As I lay in bed one night, sobbing from my guilt, praying and begging for forgiveness for the thousandth time, I heard His voice say, "I have forgiven you. You have to forgive yourself". I did and I have not struggled from the guilt since. I want to help save babies by telling my story. I want women to know there is forgiveness and there is hope.