Already Forgiven

  Linda
Missouri,  United States
 
 

Hello, my name is Linda and my hometown is St Louis MO.  My story is one of great sin and sadness. With a profound desire to help others, I come before you today to become SILENT NO MORE.

 Just one week ago was the 37th anniversary of my abortion.  The year was 1976 and after just seven months of dating, I found myself facing an unplanned pregnancy.  TOTAL SHOCK does not BEGIN to describe my feelings when the pregnancy test came back positive How could I tell my parents??  I was TERRIFIED!! I went to Planned Parenthood where the counselors told me “it was just a blob of tissue” and they would take care of it with a simple procedure.  After just one appointment, my problem would be solved. 

A few days later my mother confronted me about my morning nausea and the truth came out.  When she learned of my pregnancy she quickly decided that the abortion was the only way out. Eighteen years old was just TOO YOUNG to carry a child to term.  The shame and embarrassment of having an unwed teenage daughter was just too much for her to handle!!  So, my “procedure” was scheduled just one week later. 

 I will never forget the sound of the vacuum suctioning my child from my womb on that frosty January morning!!  The overwhelming bleeding and pain went on for days. The abortionist told me that was normal.  I cried in the darkness of my room all alone wondering if I had taken the life of a son or a daughter. 

 Many years of depression, medications, therapy and suicidal tendencies followed.  At times, I didn’t want to go on with my life knowing I had killed my baby.  Later in life I felt undeserving when God blessed me with two healthy children.  Each year on January 10th, my self-hatred would take over as I recalled my painful past.

We have attempted to put our agony behind us by attending an amazing three day ministry of forgiveness and grace called Rachel’s Vineyard.  I will tell you that this was the most profound experience we have had to help us deal with our abortion.  Many of the counselors were post-abortive and understood our trauma and broken-ness. The priests could not have been more gentle and compassionate as they administered the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  I learned that God had already forgiven me. The greatest thing I gained was the ability to forgive myself! Today I want all of you to know that abortion is wrong for women. Women deserve better. That is why I have become SILENT NO MORE. Thanks for listening!

   
   
Priests for Life
www.priestsforlife.org