I had an abortion primarily because I was coerced and manipulated by my boyfriend. I was in an abusive relationship. I isolated myself. I told no one else. I felt inadequate to care for another child. My boyfriend was already paying child support for his two children.
During the abortion procedure I felt numb and empty. I wanted someone to rescue me. Nobody did.
Immediately after the abortion I felt loss and sadness. I was emotionally and physically drained.
As time went on after the abortion, I continued to have feelings of loss, sadness, and emptiness. I regretted denying myself the experience of knowing my child. I regretted denying my two children another sibling.
I found help and forgiveness directly from God himself through a vision. He stopped time in order to reveal his forgiveness and mercy to me. I heard his massive voice in me and around me. He also gave me a vision as I walked around a lake at a local park. I saw my child. He was being tenderly loved and cared for. He was so happy and joyful. I also was led by the Father to participate in two programs at my church?Restored Hope and Celebrate Recovery. I have learned that I am a codependent. I am actively learning and healing.