My Savior's Love

Michigan,  United States
I was very scared and full of shame.  I was influenced by my boyfriend's mother (whom unfortunately I greatly admired) and my boyfriend took me to the clinic, then home, both times.  I have flashbacks of the second abortion.  I was awake during it and it felt like something was being taken from my soul.  My boyfriend was angry with me and abused me on the way home.  I was bleeding heavily.  I was so scared.  It is a nightmare to think about.

Not acknowledging and seeking healing for this wound has impacted my life for over 30 years.  I think it has affected just about all of my relationships in my life.  I know it affected my dear mother, whom I lost last year.  

I have felt my Savior's love and presence in my life for many years, yet I think this wound comes between us also.  I have come to realize that I have not forgiven myself, that I hate myself for what I did, in fact.  I have come to realize that I must do something about this, that it is a sort of poison in my life.  My physical health may even be related to this issue.

I want to help other women who have been through this.  (I probably need to help myself first.)  I want to help get the word out that ABORTION HURTS WOMEN.  I want to make this miserable experience count for something, that I might honor the two little ones that have been lost, and so I can have a little self-respect again.

Priests for Life