Haunting me

New Jersey,  United States
My name is Maritza and my story about my abortion is haunting me and I need to share it with someone. I found out that I was expecting one week before my abortion. The first thing that I did was talk about it with my boyfriend.   I told him that I was expecting and he said "Babe, we can't afford another baby right now we have three kids and we can't bring another kid into this world to suffer." 

 It was Jan.5, 2013 I was scheduled to go in for an abortion.  We got to the clinic and people were outside saying "Don't go in!" "Don't kill your baby!" we walked right past them and went into the building. I signed in, filled out the paper work and waited...and waited...and waited. The people there were laughing like it was nothing.  I saw no one crying, no one sad.  Then it was my turn to go in.  I wanted to turn away and run, run far so that my baby won't have to go through the pain.  I went in; they took blood and urine, and then put me in a room to speak with a counselor.  She talked to me about the procedure and then had me fill out more paper work.  I felt sad, weak, like a bad mother who was giving up her baby for no reason.  I felt that I was being selfish. I wanted to run out the room but then she gave me a gown and told me to head downstairs. 

 I changed my clothes and then lay on the operating table and then broke down into tears.  They told me to calm down ; they strapped my legs so they wouldn't fall during the operation and then they sedated me.  I woke up a little while later and felt empty.   I started crying my eyes out and I heard the nurse yell out "You have to calm down." I ignored her, she didn’t feel my pain. Then I got up and got dressed and the nurse walked me to the door.  Before walking out they handed me birth control pills, pain killers.  She told me we will be in contact.  I opened the door and my boyfriend was waiting for me.  He helped me get into the car and we both were crying our eyes out.   It’s an experience that I never want to go through again in my life.

Priests for Life