Know That There is Hope

  Sandee
Oregon,  United States
 
  My eyes.  Oh, Lord Jesus what have I done.  In the car on the way home, our conversation centered on the official story that we would tell to everyone; that I had lost the baby.  We would never speak about what happened that day.  For the past 30 years, I haven’t.  With a few exceptions, I have remained silent, and I have kept my anguish to myself.  I’ve gone to college.  I got married.  I raised a family; all of this while guarding my overwhelming secret deep inside.  The moment I had my abortion I knew, I knew that I would forever be a damaged individual.  That no matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did, whatever I sacrificed, I could never bring my baby back.
    I could never undo the things that I did that day.  I had to live with my shame, my regret, and my pain and my silence.  Of course, we know that our God is not a God of secrets or shame or silence.  Our God is a God of forgiveness, of mercy, and of grace.  Often in spite of ourselves, He brings us to a place of transparency and of healing.  He brings us to a place where we can be made whole again.  After the birth of our first two children, my husband encouraged me to seek out healing from my past.  I went through a post-abortion healing Bible study that absolutely transformed my life.
    Soon after that we had our third child and a few years later, ironically, we were blessed to adopt our youngest daughter into our family.  At that time, I was not yet ready to speak out or to tell others about my experience.  Years later, in His loving wisdom, God led me to another healing Bible study group, which I completed just last year.  I know that my healing is not a one-time event.  Most likely, I will spend the rest of my life coming to terms with what I did when I was 16 years old.  I also know that when God forgives, we are forgiven indeed.  Only God can take a past and redeem it into a destiny.
    If any man or woman here, or you know of anyone who is suffering because of abortion in their past, please know that you’re not alone.  Know that there is hope, and there is healing.  Many men and women have walked this road ahead of you, and there are many who willing to walk it with you.  Thank you.
   
   
Priests for Life
www.priestsforlife.org