God is my Rock

  Julie
California,  United States
 
  My abortion experience:
    I went to a Planned Parenthood office to see if I was pregnant.  My boyfriend took me.  I went into a room and took the pregnancy test.  A short while later I was told to come to the front window.  I was told that I was pregnant.  The next question I was asked was what will you do about your pregnancy?  I didn't know.  I was so scared.  Petrified--me, pregnant.  Then my boyfriend went to the window.  He found out that later in the week I could have an abortion.  He made the appointment.  I was so scared.  My thoughts were, "What is an abortion?"  I began to plead with my boyfriend.  I said I didn't want one.  He told me he would tell my mom.  Right then I knew I had to have the abortion.  My mom said to never come to her if I was pregnant.  
    The morning of the abortion I was so scared.  I walked into the clinic with my head hung down.  I had told my mom I was going to work.  That was my lie to her.  My boyfriend waited until I was called in the room.  I was examined by the doctor.  He asked if I was really pregnant.  I said I was told I was three weeks pregnant.  I then went into a room where many girls were also waiting.  So scary!  Some said this was their second or third abortion.   I went on the table, all the time screaming.  The nurse said she had one also.  I awoke with a sick feeling in my stomach.  I was told to go to the bathroom and wear a pad.  So much blood.  I was still silent.  My boyfriend said to never tell anyone.  He took me to a party that same day.  I was so sick to my stomach.  All I wanted to do was shrivel up into a ball.  
    Years later I meet a woman in one of my clubs.  I had a bond with her.  She was a paid person at a Pregnancy counseling center.  As I talked about my abortion she said I should go to a retreat.  I did, and I found relief.  Others were like me.  This woman came on the last day to say goodbye to my child.  The long term effect is that every day I regret having the abortion.  I did tell my church friends where I was going when I went on the retreat.  
    The experience haunts me every Easter.  I was on mental health medications for many years.  Too long to mention.  I heard others telling me what to do.  This boy was my only child.  I feel lost since all I wanted was to be a mom.  I am silent no more because the memory of this abortion haunts me.  I wish all to receive choices and love like I got from my friend, the retreat, and the pregnancy counseling center. God is my rock and so is my husband.

   
   
Priests for Life
www.priestsforlife.org