Healing Starts by Shining a Light into the Dark

Wisconsin,  United States
  I really don’t remember the exact date, I’ve blocked it out. But I can tell you I was 21 and was divorced with a two year old son and a one year old daughter. I was almost done with nursing school and was about to get off public assistance and out of low income housing.
But then I found myself in the position I never thought I would be. You see I was always Pro-life. Abortion was wrong, and I knew it. Here I was pregnant and alone. The prior pregnancy with my daughter was very traumatic, and we both almost bled to death, she was eight weeks premature and came home after one month in NICU on a breathing monitor. I feared being pregnant again, what would happen to the kids if I died? Besides, how would I manage another child? I would never get off welfare and would be alone with 3 children!  The boyfriend did not want a child and made it clear he wouldn’t help.
I did a have a friend who told me about the abortion clinic, she had gone with another friend not too long ago and gave me the information. I called.
I clearly remember the protestors outside the clinic, with their bloody baby pictures, yelling, "Don’t kill your baby".
I hardened my heart and walked in the door. I remember seeing a young girl there with her boyfriend, they looked so close and committed to each other, I wished they would change their minds, I thought this would mess her up -odd I didn't have that thought about myself. I was there physically, but I emotionally checked out. The staff, I must say, was kind. I left the clinic and picked up my kids.
Over the years (28) I continued to rationalize my decision. I married two more times. My children have grown, and I even had another daughter. But I’ve never forgotten that little one (who I have now named Jordan).
I have difficulty forming and maintaining close relationships even with my kids.
Just recently, as I studied the Word of God and asked Him why I cannot get close to people, He revealed to me that I needed to look at this part of my life.
I have been forgiven by God, and I am comforted to know that God adopts all the orphans! I know the road to healing starts by shining light into the dark- by exposing the lie and deception that so many have listened to.

Priests for Life