That hope keeps me going

Ohio,  United States
  I had two abortions when I was 19 and 21 years old.  In both cases, I selfishly thought my life was more important than my unborn child's.  I had bought into the lies of the Women's Movement that this was my "right" and that I deserved only a wanted pregnancy.  I was unmarried, and the boyfriends involved didn't want the babies either.

During my first abortion I was sedated so I don't remember anything.  My second one, I was awake, and still remember severe cramping and the sound of suctioning.  Immediately after the abortions I felt relieved but also a great sense of loss and sorrow.  

I denied my grief for many years until I got saved in 1991.  When I realized that the Bible and God are against abortion, I cried out to Him in repentance.  I know He heard my cry and forgave me, but I was still haunted by the memories of what I had done, and needed to forgive myself.

I found help and forgiveness through a Bible study, Forgiven and Set Free, and also through some seminary courses I have been taking over the past few years.  I now realize the scope of God's forgiveness for my sins of abortion, which were paid for when Christ died on the cross.  I realize that God sees me as righteous and holy, one of his daughters, all because of Christ's sacrifice.  I also know that I will be reunited with my babies in heaven someday, and that hope keeps me going when the pain returns, which sometimes happens. 

The reason I am sharing my story is to 1) encourage women who may be considering abortion to think twice about the long-term effects of their decision and 2) let other post-abortive women know that they may experience complete peace and forgiveness through the redeeming work of the Cross.

Thank you for listening to my story and may the Lord richly bless your ministry.    

Priests for Life