I Can Finally Tell My Story

Arizona,  United States
  I didn't have a childhood.  My parents never showed us love or compassion, all we had was work and maybe school while our dad abused us physically and emotionally.
I got pregnant at age 16.   I was horrified at having to live that life…little did I know my real horror was about to begin the day my parents made me marry the father of my child. He was a complete nightmare.

I had 2 boys with him and when I got pregnant for the 3rd time he didn't want me to keep my baby.  He left me with 2 kids to care for and I thought I was not going to be able to care for another at age 23 with two boys and another on the way.  I didn't know where to turn.  I never wanted to go back to my parents.  They didn't want me back, especially with all these kids, so I thought!

Then one day I met my husband now, and he was like a Prince Charming to me.  But he couldn’t be with me as I was pregnant and he was afraid of what his family would think or say.  I talked to my sister on what I should do, and she said that she would have had aborted my two kids because of the torment being married to a wife beater!

I decided to go ahead and end my so called problem and asked my husband to take me to planned parenthood.  It was the worst day of my life.  I remember I kept telling myself, “Stop, what are doing?” But I couldn’t stop myself.  I also tried to stop another girl from doing it and my weakness took over.   I couldn't help my baby or the other.  Oh how I wished my husband would have stopped me but he didn't.  So I hated him as well as myself!

The clinic was a complete nightmare.  I was drugged then called back to get my baby ripped out of me like trash! I was just a number in that so called clinic.  I felt so ashamed, so low, so miserable, I kept it a secret for so long that I wanted to kill myself.

I was in such denial that up until now-- trying to remember what I was thinking still hurts so badly to remember that I didn't want to remember!  Eleven years later, I heard God’s message at church through a fellow Rachel's vineyard member.  I was healed through this miraculous retreat!  God was there to receive my forgiveness to myself and others involved in my abortion.  I can finally tell my story without guilt or pain.  And because I am silent no more I can also be a messenger from God to others.

Priests for Life