Amazing Grace

Kentucky,  United States
  I was barely 18 when I found out I was pregnant by a man who did not want to have a baby with me.  To say my life was a mess would be an understatement, and I found myself consumed with panic and fear.  

When the baby’s father suggested an abortion, I also thought that would be a quick fix to this devastating problem.   We scheduled the abortion in Knoxville, TN and, within a few days, we were there.    

As I entered that building, I remember seeing a variety of different faces…many faces.  I was called into a small room for “counseling” which consisted of me paying the four hundred dollar fee.  I vaguely remember lying on a cold hospital bed while life was sucked out of me. I lost more than just my child that day.  I also lost myself.  When the abortion was complete I was sent on my way.  

I left the abortion clinic that day bearing the burden of a loss I was not prepared to bear.  Grieving the loss of my unborn child.  The life I had decided should not be.  The tears flowed, and I could not get them to cease.  What had I just done? I kept telling myself, “This is legal, so how bad could it really be? Women do this all the time. We have the right to choose…right?!? So, it can’t be murder…people go to prison for that.  No one is going to prison for an abortion.”  Believing that I could forget the pain of that day, pretend as if it never happened and go on with my life, was the biggest lie the enemy of our souls has ever sold me.

It has been ten years since I made the decision that would affect my life in more ways than I could ever imagine.  Since that time, I have suffered in tremendous ways, battling guilt, shame, and fear, being bound up like a prisoner in shackles, continuing to make poor choices and not understanding why.  And it has been only by the redeeming love of Jesus Christ that I have been set free from the shackles in which I was bound.  Knowing that because Jesus has wiped away my sin, I will see my angel, Makaela Grace, again one day in heaven, where we will walk the streets of gold together, hand in hand.  That amazing grace is what allows me to be Silent No More!

Priests for Life