My Life Has Turned Back

  Alyssia
Pennsylvania,  United States
 
  I was 20 years old when I had my abortion. At the time I was living with my boyfriend and my son who was 2 years old. I took a pregnancy test because I was feeling sick in the morning, and it came back positive.

My first thought was the joy of being pregnant again. Then my second thought was that I was afraid of what my boyfriend would say. I also was afraid what my parents would say. I told my boyfriend, and he cried and told me that I needed to have an abortion. I cried. I didn't want to go through with it, but I loved him. He wanted me to choose between him and the baby. So we scheduled an appointment.

While I was at the abortion clinic, no one spoke. Everyone was looking down; it was like a tomb. When I got called back, I went in by myself. They had me lie on the table and they did an ultrasound. I asked if I could see the screen and the nurse told me no. While I was on the table, I told the nurse that I changed my mind and I didn't want to go through it.  She just told me that everything will be fine and she put me under. When I woke up I just cried and cried.

My boyfriend dropped me off at home and left me. I was by myself and I regretted the fact that I had followed through and aborted my child. I was so angry and so sad.

After a while my boyfriend and I broke up, and I went crazy. I started drinking, smoking, doing drugs, and sleeping around. I just spiraled into self-destruction.

After 10 years I finally dealt with my abortion. I went to a retreat called HOPE for post-abortion women. It was the most emotionally, physically exhausting thing I have ever been through, but it was also the most amazing, beautiful, and life-changing thing I've been through. I forgave myself, and God has forgiven me as well. My life has been turned back to Him. I have such a sense of peace, hope, joy that I gave it all to Him. Now that I have found forgiveness, I feel that I can stay silent no more!  AMEN  

   
   
Priests for Life
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