If I Could Go Back

Georgia,  United States
  I was 15 when I went through my abortion. When I finally went to the doctor I was already 10 weeks pregnant and you can't have abortions here after 12 weeks. So it was a decision I had to make in a very little time. So I made the decision to go have my abortion.

My mom took me and when we got there, and they took an ultrasound but didn't let me see it. Then you went into a room with a bunch of other woman and a nurse. They gave me a packet of paper and medication. All the packet of paper explained was what medicine to take and when. They called that a counseling session. Nothing about that was counseling. Not one person tried to explain that what I were doing was wrong.

When I arrived the next morning they took me downstairs, I sat on a couch, and I was on so many medications that I barely knew where I was. I remember a nurse yelling at me to get into the bathroom and get undressed into a gown. That's all I remember before they did the procedure. When I went to leave, I tripped going up the stairs because I was so doped up.

Immediately after the abortion I felt numb. I would do anything and everything to try to not think about the situation. As time went on after the abortion I started to do things I probably wouldn't have done if I would not have went through that experience.

I was going to parties, drinking, and sneaking out. I didn't care about having a relationship. Now it just hurts really bad to know that I did that. My little girl would be 5 years old now but because I chose the wrong decision my little girl is not here on this earth with me.

If I could go back and change anything in my life that would be the moment I would change. Abortion really hurts and people should be told the truth about it. You’re making a decision to kill your baby. It was a horrible experience and I recommend everyone to choose life for their baby. Every day I feel regret, and it just really hurts.

I met a friend and she was starting a bible study called "Forgive and Set Free". I don't know what I would have done without her. I know that I am forgiven; it is still just hard to wrap my brain around it. God, my mom, and my friend are my support system. After years of such pain, I went through a healing program and was able to receive God's forgiveness and forgive myself, I finally feel free from the shame and that's why I am silent no more!
Priests for Life