I grew up in an atheistic family. I never heard anyone say that abortion was wrong. I was very ambitious with an insatiable craving for attention. By the time I was 21, I was cast in a Broadway show and I was on my way to becoming a successful actor and performer.
My girlfriend at the time was using an IUD contraceptive but it failed she became pregnant. I thought I was being responsible by helping to pay for the abortion. We went down to the abortion clinic thinking it was the answer. I read magazines in the waiting room hoping to escape from the responsibility of being a father. She came out of the room a changed person and soon after tumbled into an intense depression. I tried to avoid the pain of the abortion by diving harder into my career. The relationship ended. I fathered a second child with another woman. This time the contraceptive pill failed. Another abortion followed.
You see, what I didn't understand was this:
At the moment of conception I was not a "potential father". I truly was a father. I should have taken responsibility for that but I was at the top of my career and was selfishly pursuing my addiction to attention. In the aftermath of the abortion I had bulimia and fell to 115 pounds. My voice was hoarse and the doctor instructed me not to talk for three weeks. But I was in the US National tour of "Cats". I kept singing and I injured my voice permanently. I was 24 years old, and my singing career was over.
I lost what I was trying to save with the abortion. I sacrificed my children on the altar of my ambition. Addictions came into my life as I tried to run from the pain. My misery drove me to my knees and I gave my life to Jesus and eventually became Catholic in 1995.
My experience with Christ led me into a long period of celibacy and purification. My recovery from the abortions began with taking responsibility for the gravity of what I did. I received counseling, went on many retreats including Rachael’s Vinyard. I found much healing in the sacrament of confession, and sharing my testimony.
One morning during prayer, in my mind’s eye, I saw a little girl walking across the street. I was driving a car and I tried to stop for her but the brake failed. Her little face smashed against my windshield and a voice said "David, this is your daughter". Then I saw Mother Mary holding the hand of this little girl. But this time she was beautiful with no injuries. I said to Mother Mary "Can I talk to her?" She said, "Yes, you can, David". I said "how will I know she's in heaven?" Mary said "she's with me isn't she?" That day I was reconciled to my daughter Tina.
Recently during prayer, in my mind’s eye, I saw my son Benson playing piano for a choir of angels in heaven. We were reconciled.
Eight years ago I met Kirsten and we didn’t believe the lie of this world that we are supposed to have sex before marriage. We practiced chastity and waited. Five years ago we were married.
We were given a tremendous gift. We had an "au natural" pregnancy with no medical intervention, at this late stage in our lives. God has given us our beautiful and healthy daughter "Adessa Marie". He has given me a second chance at life.
I am so grateful to you Kirsten and I love you so much. Thank you for your commitment to God, to the unborn, and your commitment to me. We are Kirsten and David, we love marriage, we love life, and we love the unborn, therefore we are Silent No More.