Emptiness Inside Me

  Rita
Ontario,  Canada
 
 
Hi my name is Rita from Mississauga , Ontario.

I have four wonderful boys and one baby girl in heaven.  I am here to say I regret my abortion.

In the 90's on December 23, I was told by my doctor that my six month old unborn child had Anabifeitis.  She would not live through delivery, would not survive following delivery, and, if she survived delivery, she would suffer and not live very long.

The doctors pressured me to take their strong advice to abort my daughter.  I was devastated, numb, and confused. I could not believe that at six months along in my pregnancy, I was being asked to kill my daughter. I am sorry to say I gave in after being pressured by the medical field.

I was put into a room in a Toronto hospital, where they started an IV to induce labour. Several hours later, alone in the room, I delivered my daughter. The nurse came in and placed her in my arms and my daughter stopped breathing.

It was all over. The nurse took some pictures, gave them to me, and took her away. She was gone.  I was told I could leave in the morning and nothing else was said about my baby. I felt empty, alone, and sad.

I didn't know how to go home and explain this to my four sons. Depression and tears filled my days and the emptiness inside of me from what I had done was destroying my ability to function.

Years later, due to my father’s illness and death, he had asked me to return to church. As I entered the church, my heart was overwhelmed and all I could do was cry.

One Tuesday afternoon, my parish priest, Fr. Owen Keenan, came in and sat beside me. We talked, and without really saying the word "abortion", I expressed my sadness and hurt and pain, and he knew I needed help. He asked me if I trusted him and I said I did. He gave me a paper with an address and directions to meet with people who could help me. That help was Second Chance post-abortion healing ministry – without this, I may not have been here today.

I want YOU to know that help is available and we are not alone. I regret my abortion and I am silent no more.
   
   
Priests for Life
www.priestsforlife.org