Good afternoon. My name is Jody. I am from Atlanta
Georgia. I would like to dedicate my testimony to all of our military members,
their families, and veterans who have lost children to the devastation of
abortion. I am one of you. However, I
want to send you a message of hope and healing.
I was 21 years old and a newly commissioned second
lieutenant in the U.S. Army. I had my life ahead of me and my military career
ahead of me. However, a date with another lieutenant went terribly wrong. Shortly
after I reached my new duty station in Arizona, I realized that I was pregnant.
I knew no one when I got there. I was alone, pregnant, and scared. The decision
I made would change my life forever. With the help of another soldier, I went
to Tucson to get an abortion.
I was numb when I walked into that clinic. I had no idea
what was going to happen. The doctor and nurse tried to explain the procedure,
but I was in such a state of confusion that I did not hear a word they said. I
was awake during the abortion. The pain and pressure were agonizing. When it
was over, I went back to the hotel and curled up into a fetal position and
wept. Things would never be the same. I knew what I had done was wrong. However,
I tried to justify my actions. “My friends and family would hate me if they
knew I was pregnant.” “I’m starting a new career and a baby does not fit into
those plans.” Then I shoved it deep down inside of me, as deep as I could. I
guarded my secret with a firm grip.
Somehortly after the abortion, I met and married my
current husband who was also an Army officer. Instead of making a career out of
the military, I resigned my commission once my four year commitment was over. I
had lost all self esteem and any desire to excel at my job. My mission as a
soldier, officer, and leader was severely affected in a negative way. I
suffered from bout of depression, anxiety, panic attacks, lack of self esteem
and a deep sense of loss and sadness. I was afraid to let anyone get too close
to me for fear that they might find out about my secret.
My husband and I eventually had three children. I became
a Supermom, a perfectionist, an over-protective parent and a constant worrier.
Subconsciously, I was trying to gain control of something I had lost control of
when I had my abortion. I was trying to redeem myself for something only Christ
could redeem me from. On the outside it looked like I had it all together, but
on the inside I was empty, dying, and in pain. I had no relationship with God
because I thought there was no forgiveness for what I had done.
Twenty years later I hit a wall. The pain and grief were
no longer tolerable. I could no longer push the pain away. I could no longer
bear my separation from God. In 2000, through prayer and guidance from the Holy
Spirit I was led to a ministry in Atlanta called PATH (Post Abortion Treatment
and Healing) became involve in post abortion Bible study and the Rachel’s
Vineyard retreat. There are no words to describe the healing I received. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of receiving
some form of post-abortion healing. Perhaps the largest and most effective
pro-life movement is now being built by those who have personally been affected
by abortion and are no longer willing to be silent about its devastating
effects. We will be Silent no More about the physical deaths of the innocent
unborn and the spiritual and emotional deaths of their parents. The choice once
made is a choice that cannot be reversed. However, the effects of that choice
can be changed. What you do with your past experience can affect the lives of
so many others in the future. That is why I am Silent no More. Thank you and God