My name is Deb, I
am from St. Louis MO. I am a forgiven and redeemed child of God here to bear
witness of His mercy and saving grace, which I desperately needed because of my
decision in 1979, to end the life of my unborn-child.
Six months into a
relationship I discovered I was pregnant. Because I feared the man’s
disapproval and abandonment, and the shame of facing my family; I chose to
abort my child.
The procedure was
physically painful, but nothing could have prepared me for the spiritual,
emotional and psychological consequences and pain I would suffer later. I was
not relieved as others assured me that I would be. I was devastated. Reality set
in, I allowed strangers to murder my innocent child. The guilt and shame were indescribable.
I was inconsolable and could only weep at being left with the sense of loss in
the deepest part of me. To deaden my pain I turned to alcohol and drugs living
a half-conscious life.
In 1984 pregnant
with my second child, I was terrified that God might exact His judgement for my
past mistake. I was hopeful when my baby was born healthy followed by a third a
few years later. The abortion memories faded, but the guilt and shame affected
all of life until 2/5/1990, when I began a relationship with the man who would
change my life, Jesus Christ. He offered reality. I saw the ugliness of my own
heart and that I could not fix my past or any mistakes I’d made. I accepted
Jesus’ gift of salvation, I experienced immediate forgiveness, healing however took
time. Since working thru a Bible-Study-called Forgiven and Set Free. I am captivated with Him.
His love forgave me, saved me, and heals. That is why I am silent no more.