Glee Star Naya Rivera Arrested November 25th for Assault of Spouse Ryan Dorsey – The Abortion Connection

November 29th, 2017

Naya Rivera Ryan Dorsey

by Kevin Burke, LSW

Glee star Naya Rivera was arrested November 25th for an assault upon her husband Ryan Dorsey.  The couple was arguing over an issue related to their 2 year old son Josey at the time of the incident:

“According to authorities… Rivera struck [Dorsey] in the head and face. He had minor injuries consistent with his claims, and further showed authorities a video taken during the alleged incident.”

What will be a footnote in many news accounts of this couple’s painful public conflict – is an abortion they shared in 2010.

It is likely that abortion experience continues to play a central role in the suffering and dysfunction in their relationship.

From People:

After first starting to date [Ryan Dorsey] in 2010 — a few months following Glee‘s premiere — the couple split so Rivera could focus on her career. A few weeks later, she discovered that she was pregnant with his child, and decided to get an abortion.”

Rivera shares in her book Sorry Not Sorry, “When I made that decision [to have an abortion], I made it by myself, as I feel is the case for a lot of women, and I did not share it with Ryan at the time.”

After the abortion Rivera had a series of failed relationships with Glee co-star Mark Salling and rapper Big Sean in 2014.

Shortly after the relationship with Big Sean ended, Rivera suddenly announced that she was back with Ryan Dorsey and the couple had married in a small private ceremony.

Rivera shared in her book, “By this time we sort of reconnected, I was like, ‘Gosh, there’s a reason why you keep coming back in my life and we keep coming back together…”

What about that abortion the couple shared back in 2010?

Rivera said that Ryan’s only regret was that he was unable to accompany her to the abortion center, to support her during the procedure. According to Rivera, Dorsey was completely understanding about her decision to have an abortion in 2010.

Rivera shared in People “I think it was the kindest, best thing that any man could have ever said in that situation. It just made me love him that much more.”

And in February 2015, she announced that they were expecting a baby.

“Ryan and I feel so blessed and can’t wait to welcome the newest member of our family.”

The Abortion Disconnection

As they shared their joy at the coming birth of their son Josey, there remains a family member that has yet to be privately and publicly acknowledged, and most importantly grieved.

When mothers and fathers participate in the death of their unborn child, they may appear like Naya and Ryan, fine with their decision.

The emotions of fear and anxiety when facing an unplanned pregnancy, and situations where there is relationship change or complications, can lead parents to feel a sense of relief that the pregnancy problem has been resolved.

Yet the testimonies of women and men who have experienced abortion loss, and later reconciled and recovered from that experience, help us to understand that, often on an unconscious level, this is a far more complicated experience.

There are deeper feelings associated with a couple’s role in the child’s death.  Over time the failure to address this will impact their relationship.

While most relationships end within the first year after the procedure, some couples remain together after an abortion, even when the relationship becomes dysfunctional.  The relationship can serve as a type of living memorial for the aborted child.

Because they are unable to acknowledge the child they lost, and share any pain and natural grief about their role in the child’s death, couples can be driven to re-connect and maintain their relationship, even when it becomes unhealthy.

This may lead to to periods of separation, affairs with unstable partners, drug and alcohol abuse, and communication and anger issues.

The pregnancy and birth of other living children will naturally surface feelings and memories associated with that aborted child.

The Truth Will Set You Free

After the birth of their son Josey in September 2015, Rivera and Dorsey once again faced relationship problems and began the process to end the marriage.

Yet after a time of successful co-parenting during their separation, the couple decided to call off the divorce in October 2017.

On November 25th Rivera was arrested for misdemeanor domestic battery.

It may be significant that this incident revolved around parenting issues related to their 2 year old son and took place in his presence.

There is a gaping wound in the heart of this mother and father, and in their family. Their son or daughter (and Josey’s sibling) has died.

Failure to acknowledge, reconcile and heal this complicated loss leaves couples and families at risk, and can lead to so much heartache, dysfunction and relational and family pain.

Of course there can be other factors that contribute to relationship problems and domestic violence.  But based on our experience over the last 20 years with couples that have an abortion in their history, it can be a key contributing factor.

The challenging and humbling experience of emotional and spiritual reconciliation of this loss, along with ongoing counseling help, can help change toxic communication and behavior patterns in a relationship.

After abortion recovery couples can better discern how to move ahead as partners, and as a family, in a healthy way.

Let’s hope and pray that this couple will one day experience the freedom and peace that can only come from reconciling their abortion with the Creator of life.

[For more information on how abortion impacts men, women and their relationships get Kevin Burke’s latest book, Tears of the Fisherman: Recovery for men Wounded by Abortion

and Forbidden Grief: The Unspoken Pain of Abortion, by Theresa Burke with David Reardon. ]


A Prodigal Son Is Called Home to the Father…By His Aborted Daughter

November 28th, 2017

Prodigal Son

[James attended a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat weekend to reconcile his role in an abortion decision over 25 years ago. James gave permission to share the letter that he read to his daughter Angelina and the other retreat participants at the memorial service held on Sunday afternoon.  Keep in mind that there is a great amount of emotional and spiritual work done from Friday through Saturday evening of the weekend to help prepare participants for this very important event.] 

Dearest Angelina,

I am writing to you to tell you how profoundly sorry and heartbroken I am for being such a bad father who didn’t value and defend you as I should have. I ask you for your forgiveness for taking your life.

I grieve now for the loss of you and the joy you would shared with me, your sisters, your mother and so many others. That selfish, unspeakable act took your life, and robbed us all of the memories we would have shared with you. I now see this loss left a huge gaping wound in all of us that is in need of healing by the One whose presence and love you have known for 24 years now.

At the time your mother became pregnant with you, I had so many years before exchanged the truth of God for the lie. I was blind to the truth that my Creator and Heavenly Father loves me unconditionally, and has joy and peace and blessing for me – if only I will love and trust and obey Him.

Finally after so many years squandered in prodigal living, God has used thoughts of you to bring me back to Him. Our loving savior has used my anguish over loosing you to draw me near to Him as He pours out his healing grace on my wounds.

Angelina, I have been choosing death for so long! God has used you to bring me back – back to Life!  When I realized I had no hope of changing on my own, I admitted this to God.  I asked him to have mercy on me and to remove my selfishness and replace it with an overwhelming love for Him and for others.  He is doing this now!

Your life and not been in vain. God has taken this tragedy and used it for good!

You must be a beautiful child and my eyes and heart ache to see you. My pain is being replaced with the joy at the thought of the day when I see you.  I long for that eternity spent with you and all of my loved ones in heaven, God willing.

Give Jesus a warm embrace for me; tell Him that I am so grateful he gave me the gift of your life. Ask him to please save your sisters, your Gramma and Grampa, and the rest of our family so that we can all have banquets together in His presence forever.  Oh, what a joy that will be!

I have to end this letter now, but my love for you dearest Angelina, will never end. I love you!  Until I cross the Jordan and see you in the arms of Jesus, I will with God’s strength choose life, moment by moment, and share his truth and love with all of His children.

With many tears, a grateful heart to God, and much love for you,


[If you or someone you love is hurting after abortion you can find a list of healing resources in your area here

If you would like to learn more about how abortion impacts men Kevin Burke has a new book out called Tears of the Fisherman: Recovery for Men Wounded by Abortion.  You can learn more about the book and purchase info here.]

100 Years after The Great Miracle of the Sun, this “Error of Russia” Continues to Wound the Heart of Mary and Threaten World Peace

October 13th, 2017

miracle of the sun

By Kevin Burke, LSW

October 13th is the very special 100 year anniversary of one of the greatest public miracles since the resurrection of Jesus.  The spectacular and frightening Miracle of the Sun was witnessed in Fatima Portugal by 70,000 people, including many skeptics and atheists as well as devout believers.

At the same time as the miracle of the sun, visionary Lucia saw a vision of the Holy Family – Mary with Joseph and the child Jesus who each raised their hands in blessing over the world.

The miracle of the sun powerfully echoed the call of the Angel of Fatima to the Shepherd children at the onset of the apparitions to believe, adore, and love God with all our mind, heart and soul.  The miracle was also a warning to the human family that was increasingly rejecting the Providence of God and was in grave spiritual and physical danger.

At the same time Mary was appearing to the children, revolutionaries were planning the overthrow of the Russian monarchy to establish a movement that would institutionalize blasphemy against God.

In July 1917 the blessed Mother warned Fatima visionary Lucia, and the entire world, of this gathering darkness:

“Russia will spread her errors throughout the world, causing wars and persecutions of the Church. The good will be martyred, the Holy Father will have much to suffer, various nations will be annihilated.”

The Bolsheviks violently seized power in Russia in November 1917 one month after the final apparition at Fatima. The communists launched a massive persecution of the Church in their zeal to wipe out belief in God and the practice of religion in the Soviet Union and later in Eastern Europe and China.

What is perhaps lesser known, is the role of the Soviet Union in the spread of abortion.

Pioneers of Death

Geoffrey Strickland, J.D., J.C.L., who serves as the Rome Office Director for Priests for Life, shares about the roots of abortion in the former Soviet Union:

“…history attests to the fact that Russia spread her errors throughout the world… through the single greatest error of our time: abortion.

Russia was the first country ever to legalize abortion up to birth without restriction and also developed and promulgated technology to this end.[1] Russia and areas formerly controlled by the Soviet Union have the highest abortion rate in the world.[2] Further, those countries sharing in the political and ideological legacy of Russia at that time such as China, Cuba and others continue to carry on this violent imperative.[3]”

The errors of Russia would later spread to the United States with the legalization of abortion in 1973.

Geoffrey writes:

“Thus “various nations” – the innumerable children of every race, creed and culture – have indeed been “annihilated” through the fundamental error of abortion and the faulty logic behind it, namely that a human child is not a human being.”

Over 1 billion unborn girls and boys have been aborted around the world in the last 100 years.

Our Lady of Fatima shared with Lucia:

My daughter, look at My Heart surrounded with thorns with which ungrateful men pierce it at every moment by their blasphemies and ingratitude. You, at least, try to console me.

The metaphor of sensitive heart tissue penetrated by thorns reveals how closely Mary is attached to us, and how our sinful actions wound her at the deepest level of her being.

Mary’s heart was filled with anguish as she appeared to the Shepherd children of Fatima. She warned of the unfolding short and long-term consequences of the spread of atheistic communism and later the rise of the Nazi party in Germany.

Our Blessed Mother saw the diabolical power of those destructive ideologies and the political and cultural revolutions that have rocked the world over the last 100 years.

Our Lady of Fatima surely understood how the attacks upon the Providential Fatherhood of God would lead to violence against the unborn child, the corruption of human sexuality, and other developments that continue to wreak havoc on marriage and family life.

“My Immaculate Heart Will Triumph”

Mary reassured us that even with the massive death and destruction of the last 100 years, in the end, her Immaculate Heart will triumph. Perhaps we are witnessing an anticipation of that final victory of the Immaculate Heart of Mary in the reconciliation and healing of women and men after abortion.

Let us pray together for a special outpouring of grace and mercy as we celebrate the 100 year anniversary of the apparitions at Fatima.   May this commemoration facilitate a wider awakening to the fervent call of a loving mother to her millions of children that have yet to reconcile their most shameful and grievous sins, and find the healing and peace that only her son Jesus can provide.

[1] See for example;

[2] See for example,;

[3] See, for example, and

The Legacy of Hugh Hefner: Media and Cultural Pioneer – or Merchant of Death?

September 28th, 2017

Hugh Hefner

Hugh Hefner, founder of Playboy Magazine died September 27 2017.

The Playboy brand, beginning with the magazine’s premier issue in 1953, promoted a wealthy Gentleman’s Club vibe.  The pages were filled with cultured and enlightened urban bachelors enjoying the finer things in life; jazz, the best food and drink, exotic travel, trendy fashion…and of course, beautiful women.

Yet while Hefner filled his clubs and magazine with scantily glad women dressed in ridiculous and demeaning bunny outfits, he also set out to be a key player in the unfolding cultural revolution of the 1960’s.

Hefner’s son Cooper shares:

“My father lived an exceptional and impactful life as a media and cultural pioneer and a leading voice behind some of the most significant social and cultural movements of our time in advocating free speech, civil rights and sexual freedom…”

One of those movements was the support of “abortion rights”:

“…throughout the 1960s and 70s, Playboy also helped transform Americans’ perceptions about female sexuality—and became a prominent supporter of abortion rights. The magazine published pro-choice articles and interviews as early as 1963, a decade before Roe v. Wade legalized abortion across the country… (Playboy Campaigned for Abortion Rights)

At the height of its influence in the late 60’s and early 70’s Playboy had a million monthly subscribers and used that platform to play an influential role in the unfolding cultural and sexual revolution.

This paradox found in the Playboy movement between the objectification and exploitation of women while promoting racial equality and women’s rights – reflects a shared fatal flaw found in the cultural revolution of the 1960’s.

A movement that supported the noble causes of civil rights for African Americans and women, also worked to legalize the abortion procedure. In a tragic irony, abortion centers have targeted African American communities.  The department of health in New York City reported that in 2009, six out of every ten African American pregnancies ended in abortion.

The Buffered Elites

Elites like Hefner, a man who lived his life behind the walls of the playboy mansion,  have the wealth and privilege of their positions to protect themselves and their families from the painful and destructive shockwaves of sexual revolution.

The professionals and cultural elite that continue to promote the values and lifestyles of the revolution, make sure they and their children are buffered from the worst effects of the destructive winds of change they unleash on society.

It is the working class and poor communities, already reeling from the loss of manufacturing jobs, open borders and the globalization of the economy, that are especially vulnerable to the chaos and disintegration that follow the revolution’s erosion of bedrock moral and religious values and practices.

Sexual revolution has not only led to the death of millions of unborn children, it continues to breed disease and death:

“Sexually transmitted diseases are on the rise in the United States. On Tuesday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced that in 2016, Americans contracted over two million new cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis – the highest number ever reported.”

Hugh Hefner’s Legacy

It is understandable that Hugh Hefner’s son Cooper would want to see his father’s legacy in a positive light. According to Cooper, his Dad was “a media and cultural pioneer and a leading voice behind some of the most significant social and cultural movements of our time.”

But like so much of the cultural and sexual revolution that continues to attack the heart and soul of this nation, it’s grounded in lies.

Heffner’s final years on this earth reflected how the sexual revolution and pornography have not brought liberation and enlightenment, but an increasing sense of loneliness and isolation.

From NPR 2003 interview with Hefner:

“Hefner shared his mansion with seven women, all young enough to be his granddaughters. But the man who set out to surround himself with sexuality and extravagance looked isolated and lonely.

He said his eventful life had convinced him romance was an illusion:

“… Romance is something that we invented…Romeo and Juliet, where everybody dies. … In the fairy tales it’s pursuit, and then ‘they lived happily ever after.’ But we never really deal with “they lived happily ever after.”


The Parasitical Relationship of Abortion Centers with Poor Minority Communities

September 7th, 2017

Planned Parenthood Minority

by Kevin Burke, LSW

Par·a·site:  An organism that lives in or on another organism (its host) and benefits by deriving nutrients at the host’s expense.

Abortion rights propaganda has influenced many of our nation’s citizens, and tragically many Christians, to see abortion as a woman’s private and personal health care decision.

Abortion may be considered private in that it is often a closely guarded secret. But the emotional and spiritual shockwaves after the procedure make it very much a family and community mental health concern.

In 2014 Pope Francis shared:

“How many hurt families, how many broken marriages…there is a crisis in the family.”

In the month of September, the Shockwaves Initiative shines a bright light on Abortion and the Family.

Tragically it is the poorest minority communities that are targeted by the abortion industry. They suffer higher rates of abortion and are especially vulnerable to strong post abortion reactions.

Abortion facilities have a parasitical relationship with their host minority communities.

When poor women and men participate in the death of their unborn children, it connects in a powerful way with any previous emotional trauma.

The abortion event can serve as the spark that ignites the anger and pain from previous abuse and neglect into the flames of raging addiction, relationship dysfunction, and abuse and neglect of living children.

We see these dynamics active in the high abortion rate among the male prison population, and the relationship between absent and abusive fathers, an involvement in abortion, and severe post abortion symptoms such as violence and high risk behaviors.

It’s a vicious cycle in poor minority communities that creates more customers for Planned Parenthood, more dead unborn babies, more wounded women and men, and more broken relationships and families.

Hope in the Darkness

Awareness and healing are already beginning to break the power of the culture of death. You can read here on our Shockwaves site of the experience of an African American woman, Onawu Pickett who suffered rape and abuse, and later abortion loss.   Her participation in a Rachel’s Vineyard weekend opened the door to her reconciliation and restoration in Christ, and a calling to reach out to others African American women and men wounded by abortion.

A Rachel’s Vineyard program in two maximum security prisons in Florida is helping men repent of their role in the death of their unborn children, and in that recovery process to grieve and heal of their childhood wounds with their fathers.   Immersed in God’s mercy and grace these men reclaim the fatherhood of their unborn children and reach out with the love of Christ to their fellow inmates.

Men – When She has that Abortion…You May be Signing her Death Certificate

August 29th, 2017

abandonment of partner

[A message from a man who is the father of a child lost to abortion]:

Men, when you face an unplanned pregnancy and step away, stay silent and allow your woman to have an abortion – you may be signing her death certificate.

Men can be very influential in their relationships with women, especially when sex is involved. In one survey 80% of the women said that they would not have had an abortion if their man had stood by their side and supported them throughout the pregnancy.

Sadly many of us men will do anything it takes to talk a woman into sex.

But when a pregnancy results, we often fail to step up to the plate, leaving behind a wake of death and destruction that women are forced to deal with alone:

1) Eighty percent of Women have mental issues of some kind after an abortion suffering symptoms such as alcohol abuse, drug abuse, anger, depression and anxiety issues and dysfunctional relationships.

3) Premature babies: women that have had abortions are 10 times more likely to have a premature baby born at 22 to 26 weeks, than women that have not had an abortion. (American Association of Prolife Obstetricians and Gynecologists)

4) Breast and Cervical Cancer: women who had abortions are 4 times more likely to have one these cancers after the abortion, than do women that have not had an abortion.

We have all this knowledge about the toxic after-effects of abortion, yet we can’t get our Christian communities to talk about it.

Our pastors need to be calling out men from the pulpits!

With love and charity yes – but Pastors, men hunger for you to call them out. They need you to share the clear and direct truth and call them to accountability.


Men respect someone who looks them in the eye and gives it to them straight…even if the message may be difficult and painful to hear at first.

It used to be that life was precious and a man stood strong and proud of that little person they helped create. The science is clear – this is not a blob of tissue, a turtle, duck or fish.

That is your baby in its momma’s womb. Every life is precious and known by God, even those lost to miscarriage and God desires those souls to be with him in heaven.

Your baby living in the mother’s womb has 50% of your DNA.   Don’t let your fear and weakness take over and keep you from standing up and being a man and supporting this woman to give life to your child.

If you and your partner cannot parent this baby, there are countless couples just waiting to love your baby and share their lives with your child.  Depending on the type of adoption, you can stay in touch and make sure that your child is well cared for, safe and happy.

Men it is time to shout it from the roof tops.

If you abandon your woman when she is pregnant, you are signing a death certificate for your baby and it’s mother because you did nothing to stop the abortion.

Recovery for Men after Abortion

Just for the record, 42 years ago I did nothing to stop the woman I got pregnant from an abortion, and to this day I have no idea if she is alive or dead.

If you have been part of an abortion decision, we share the Good News of the repentance and healing in Christ Jesus to any man who has participated in the sexual exploitation of women and the death of their unborn children.

If you are a man who you tried everything possible to talk your partner out of an abortion and she still went ahead with the procedure, this can be devastating. Keep in mind that you will need healing of your inability to stop that abortion.

Please consider an abortion recovery program if you have experienced this kind of loss. Men can get stuck in anger and depression and hurt themselves and others in their pain at being powerless to protect their unborn child.  The Lord will help you also repent of your role in being sexually active without providing the commitment of a marital covenant that protects mother and baby.

When men experience that conversion of heart and mind, the Holy Spirit will convict them to become soldiers for Christ in the battle to take back our families and communities – and to partner with women to protect our children, born and unborn, from the merchants of death at Planned Parenthood and their allies in academia, entertainment, business and politics.

Planned Parenthood deceives the public that they are advocates for women’s health – when they are in fact a national killing machine that takes the lives of over 300,000 unborn babies per year.

Men Its Time to Stand Up, Speak Out, and Choose Life

With all the information we have today on the effects of abortion on the women, it is a travesty to keep silent.

Men you can change what can be a potential death sentence for the mother of your unborn child – to the blessing of abundant life for them both.

I pray you think twice before you sign that death certificate.

God Bless you.

Brad Cornell is the host of “You are a Dad” radio show on AM 630 The Word, Sunday 8pm San Antonio Texas 83

830 928 2140

Socialized to Evil: Nazi Doctors and Abortion Physicians

August 21st, 2017

Nazi Doctors 2

Socialized to Evil: Nazi Doctors and Abortion Physicians

“These doctors had not killed anybody until they got to Auschwitz, so they weren’t extraordinary killers to start with. They were ordinary people who in that way were socialized to evil.” – Dr Robert Lifton

Psychiatrist Robert Jay Lifton interviewed 28 former Nazi doctors and Auschwitz prisoners who worked with the German medical staff. Dr Lifton described how the physicians rationalized their complicity in the death of millions of innocent men, women and children.

– Every prisoner in Auschwitz was marked to die. They had no control over that.

– To experiment on their prisoner/patients was to bring some good out of those who were already sentenced to death.

– To select the old and weak for the gas chambers was actually a form of compassion because it spared them the more painful experience of starvation.

Seventy years after the horrors of Auschwitz, Slate’s Amanda Marcotte defended Planned Parenthood after undercover videos revealed they were trafficking in the sale of aborted baby body parts.

We…shouldn’t deny women who want to donate fetal or embryonic remains to science any more than we would deny someone who wants to be an organ donor…”

Samantha Allen at the The Daily Beast tells us Planned Parenthood doctors sipping wine over lunch as they discuss their grisly trade in baby body parts is no big deal.

“… the transfer of human fetal tissue is not illegal in the United States. Women undergoing abortions sometimes choose to donate fetal tissue for scientific research and abortion providers do not facilitate these donations without their explicit consent.”

It’s legal, the unborn child’s parents are ok with it, and it’s for a good cause

Disconnection and Denial

Dr Lifton shares how ordinary medical professionals can be formed over time to accommodate to horrific evil and keep their work and home lives in separate distinct spheres:

These doctors…ran the killing process…did selections. So when they were in Auschwitz they had an Auschwitz self…But they would go home to their families…and they would be ordinary fathers and husbands where they would function in a relatively ordinary way… (The Nazi Doctors: Medical Killing and the Psychology of Genocide by Robert Jay Lifton)

Dr Anthony Levatino is an ob-gyn and former abortionist. Dr Levatino shares how he experienced a similar disconnection not only in his personal life, but in his daily practice as he balanced the paradoxical roles as life-affirming and death-inducing physician:

There is no better news for me than to put that scanner on [a mother] at seven and eight weeks and show them a heartbeat and say: Your baby is okay. You do that as an obstetrician all the time.

And then, an hour later, you change your clothes, walk into an operating room and do an abortion.

Yet abortion doctors and their staff can pay a high price over time for functioning in a long term state of moral and spiritual disconnection from the reality that they are destroying innocent preborn babies.

Here are a few testimonies from former abortion business employees:

Dr. Brewer … “when I was doing abortions, my life was in a shambles in terms of drugs, immorality and all the rest.” Abortionists, he said, “have marriages that are on the rocks…”

Dr Joseph Randall: “It wasn’t until I became divorced and began really searching for something more. It was sort of like, here I was a doctor; I was making a lot of money; but what did I have…I really felt that I had it made, but I still had this gnawing sort of emptiness inside.”

Nita Whitten, working as a secretary in a Texas abortion clinic, became depressed and addicted to drugs. “I took drugs to wake up in the morning.” After having an abortion herself, she became severely depressed and at one point planned to commit suicide.

Kathy Sparks, medical assistant at an Illinois clinic, shared that many of her fellow employees abused drugs and some were alcoholics.

Recovery for Abortion Providers

Psychiatrist Dr. Philip G. Ney is the founder of the Society of Centurions, a recovery program for former abortion physicians and employees. Dr Ney has shared that many of these people want to get out of the business but don’t know how to wash the blood off their hands.

“There’s no easy solution,” Dr. Ney says, but help is available.

In this brief audio presentation Dr Ney shares about his work with former abortion business employees.


A Great Musical Healing Resource for Women and Men Hurting After Abortion

July 25th, 2017

Steve Siler Music Ministry

Here’s a great resource for those ministering to men and women hurting after abortion, and for those who have suffered this loss.

Steve Siler is the Founder and Director of Music for the Soul, a multi-award winning Christian music ministry creating unique song, spoken word, and video recordings bringing hope and healing to issues of deep pain.

“Steve Siler envisions a world of hurt healed by the messages embedded in music. His latest project seeks to provide healing from the pain of abortion.”

You can read a nice article on Steve and his ministry here.

This is an interview with Steve on the Moody Radio Network on the Chris Fabry show that is specifically targeted at men with abortion loss.   Steve is joined on the program by Christian counselor Greg Hasek.  Greg is also a member of the Men and Abortion Network.

Samples from Steve’s CD can be heard here:






The Daily Mail UK: Abortion and the Men Haunted by Regret

July 3rd, 2017

Femail. Image shows Paul O'Callaghan who is telling the story of how he felt when an ex-girlfriend fell pregnant 12 yrs ago. He wanted her to have an abortion, despite her being 37 and without other children. 11/04/2014 Stephanie Schaerer 07878466804

I was surprised and encouraged to see an article in the Daily Mail Abortion and the Men haunted by Regret featuring a number of fathers sharing openly about their abortion experience.

One father, Tony shares about his state of mind at the time he learned of an unplanned pregnancy. His partner Jenny was set on termination even as Tony pleaded with her to give birth to their child:

“My mind was all over the place…You are experiencing such conflicting thoughts and emotions. On one hand, you’re trying to get your head round the fact you’re going to be a dad when you didn’t plan to be and preparing to be emotionally connected to this child. On the other, you’ve got to disconnect, because there might never be a baby.”

“You got to disconnect…because there might never be a baby.”  The social sanctioning of abortion, the context of “choice,” attacks the heart and soul of what it means to be a father.

The reality of the child’s existence is calling this young father to embrace his vocation, no matter how challenging the circumstances. Yet the legal reality that he is powerless, and his partner’s rejection of their baby, necessitates disconnection.

Fortunately Tony reached out for help and saw a counselor to help him cope with the natural anger and grief that flowed from this attack upon his manhood and fatherhood.

Charlie Conner serves with the Rachel’s Vineyard abortion healing program in the United Kingdom.  Charlie shares in the Daily Mail article about some of the challenges men face after abortion:

“It’s natural that there is guilt and shame — a mourning process is meant to happen…Guilt will be greater if the man was the driving force in the abortion. Even if they are not religious, they can feel punished when there are other difficulties in their lives.  If they have other children, there can be the fear something will happen to them as a result of what they did.”

The article touched on a number of important themes:

– The role of contraceptive failure and intentional contraceptive failure in unplanned pregnancy

– The damage to men of being both passive and powerless to prevent the abortion or active agents in the child’s death.

– The same sex identity embraced by one man 3 years after the procedure

– Some men can experience symptoms associated with emotional trauma after abortion

– The delayed onset of grief, regret etc. for some men and the need for counseling and other support.

– The common relationship termination following the procedure

– One of the men featured remained single and childless 15 years after procedure

Anniversary reactions to the date of the abortion or around the time of the child’s due date

Please read and share

“You Have Your Whole Life Ahead of You…You Should Get an Abortion.”

June 20th, 2017


By Brad Cornell

If I’d only known then what I know now.

How many of us have said that?

Father’s Day has such a different meaning to me now at 60 than it did at 20.  In 1975 my then fiancé was in college and unexpectedly became pregnant.  We didn’t know what to do.

I looked up to my uncle, a wealthy and successful businessman, so I sought advice from him.  He said, “You have your whole life ahead of you. You should get an abortion.”

As men, we often think it’s a woman’s problem when she becomes pregnant – but it’s not.  I believed at the time that it’s ultimately the woman’s choice whether to give birth or have an abortion. I should have suggested that we talk through our options.

There’s a statistic that says that in 80 percent of abortions, the dad walked away.  That’s what I did.   I let her go through with it without showing my support for the decision either way.  I ignored the doctor’s telling me that after the procedure she wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me.

My uncle paid for the abortion and my cousin, who was also her best friend, took her. After the procedure she returned to her family, who owned a vineyard in a different part of California, and as the abortion doctor predicted…I never saw her again.

The Abortion Aftershocks

Through the years there have been many problems in my life. I could not figure out why I was acting and doing the things I was doing.  I had problems with alcohol, anger, depression and insecurity, to name a few.

I lost jobs because of fighting, drinking and my bad attitude.   I married in 1976 but never wanted kids and I did not treat my first wife with respect.

The pain of the loss of my unborn child was palpable. Not only were our lives irrevocably changed that day, but so were the lives of everyone I’ve had relationships with.

It’s something I deeply regret.

How would I celebrate Father’s Day today if I had made a different choice?  It isn’t just the path not taken…Father’s Day would mean so much more.

What would my life look like?

What kind of person would my son or daughter have become?

The Gift of Faith

The silver lining in my journey appeared about a year ago. The Lord Jesus Christ, through the Holy Spirit, made it clear to me that it was time to come clean and use my experience to help others.  As a Christian I needed to share and help other men realize that they are a dad at conception.  Their vocation is to support their lady and have their baby no matter what they have to do to get through it.

During a meeting in Dallas for pregnancy centers, I shared my commitment to build the largest pregnancy center in San Antonio. A gentleman approached me at the meeting and shared that he had two abortions.

Without hesitation, the Holy Spirit spoke through me and I revealed that I had one too! I realized I needed to share my story.

I went home and told my (second) wife of 18 years about my abortion. She encouraged me to share it with the world and save lives.  It became crystal clear I had to do this.  My hope is that other young men will hear my story and understand the monumental importance of the moment.

I want to share with any man facing an unplanned pregnancy:

At conception a spark of life, part of your DNA, is growing in the lady you pursued, you cared for, and loved. Don’t abandon her and your baby because it’s inconvenient, because it’s hard.   They need you now more than ever.  Don’t look back on Father’s Day when you’re 60 and wonder what could’ve been, what should’ve been.  What would’ve happened if you had chosen to support your lady?

 God calls us to lead.  THIS is the time when you must lead.

[Brad shares his experiences with guests each week on his radio program “You Are A Dad”  on  AM 630 The Word KSLR in San Antonio, TX Sunday evening’s at 8:00PM and available on his website here.  I will be appearing on Brad’s radio show later in the month and will let you know when that’s available.  Visit Brad’s website at – Kevin Burke, LSW]