Under the cover of the uproar from Donald’s Trumps recent flip-flop comments on abortion, the New York Times reported about a much more serious concern for those who care about women and their unborn children:
The Food and Drug Administration has relaxed the guidelines for taking a pill that induces abortion, reviving one of the most contentious issues of the abortion debate. The change allows women to use the drug further into pregnancy and with fewer visits to the doctor…The change was an unequivocal victory for abortion rights advocates who had been fighting laws in Texas, North Dakota and Ohio, among other states, that require doctors prescribing the pill to follow the directions on the F.D.A. label for using it, which had been more stringent…Medication-induced abortions have increasingly been used to terminate pregnancies in recent years…They made up as much as a quarter of all abortions in 2011, according to the most recent figures from the Guttmacher Institute… Planned Parenthood said as many as half of eligible women in its clinics requested medication-induced abortions.
This has the potential to greatly expand the use of these medications that lead to the death and expulsion of a tiny unborn child in the first 10 weeks of pregnancy.
The FDA and the Obama administration do not share the physical and emotional experience of taking this medication. Please read and share this couples experience when their home and marital bed are transformed into an abortion center:
Abortion in the Home
A self described pro-choice woman and her husband describe their RU 486 abortion experience. She was not prepared for the excruciating pain and emotional trauma of the procedure:
Her husband got her out of the tub, and into the bed…
It was then, with her husband lying next to her, that Kay says, “I went through the worst experience of my life.”
“After two hours of this,” Kay says, “I felt a rush of blood and a large lemon-sized clot came out. I assume that was the pregnancy. I was horrified. Why hadn’t anyone told me that it would be like this?”
Her husband cleaned the blood off her, cleaned up the towels, changed the sheets, dressed her because she was too weak from the pain. (Lifesite News)
Copious amounts of blood cover Kay and stain the sheets of their marital bed where their tiny child was likely conceived. What was formerly a place of marital pleasure and joy becomes the setting where their child is painfully expelled from its mother’s womb.
The father of the child lies next to his wife during this nightmare. He carefully attends to her and removes the bloody sheets…and we can assume disposes of their tiny son or daughter.
What was this man thinking and feeling as his wife went through this traumatic labor? Might he have felt a sense of shame and guilt that their “choice” led to so much physical and emotional anguish for his wife? Did he feel helpless and powerless as he witnessed what Planned Parenthood said would be a simple process turn into an unforgettable and traumatic nightmare?
It doesn’t really matter what this couples political and moral opinions are about abortion. There are things more powerful than ideology and politics. The intellect can rationalize about lost pregnancies and women’s rights. But the painful truth of the heart and soul will not be denied.
Based on our professional experience with thousands of women and men after abortion let me offer some idea of what life may be like for this couple post RU 486:
They have both clearly experienced a traumatic event. The home, which should be a peaceful refuge, will be a place that triggers anxiety and depression. The marital bed will remain a place of death, and an unspoken sense of loss will permeate the bedroom and relationship. The image and memory of that tiny “pregnancy” will rest there between them as they struggle to sleep.
Ongoing physical complications are possible. Nightmares, insomnia, anxiety and depression are likely. Sexual relations will be confusing and challenging. Even when they are able to assume marital intimacy, they will need to dissociate from their feelings and go through the motions.
The unresolved feelings and memories will lead them to drink more, work more…whatever it takes to get away from the pain. The distance will grow between them.
Over time this couple will be unable to meet one another’s needs for emotional and physical intimacy. They may look outside the marriage for support from someone who is not connected to the trauma. Marital infidelity will begin a process of marital dissolution.
Mifepristone is a very powerful chemical. It didn’t just end the life of their unborn child. The drug traumatized this couple, made their home a place of death, and in time may kill their marriage.
They may struggle to associate any of their personal and marital problems to their chemical abortion…pro choice ideology forbid this. But the physical, emotional and relational symptoms will cry out to them to acknowledge this loss, to face the truth of their actions…so they can repent and heal.