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Pushing down the feelings

I am the father.  We went through with the abortion because my girlfriend's parents are highly religious and felt that since we were not married it was not going to work.  Also, my parents are conservative in their views.  We had no idea how it was going to work with a baby in college. 

During the procedure I did feel some guilt, but mostly felt that this was our only option.  Right after the abortion I felt some shock.  I never thought I would be that guy or the couple that had to experience an unplanned pregnancy. I decided to push my feeling as far down as I could, locked away in a box.   As time went on I started to resent my girlfriend and it put a "fog" over me caring for her.  A year and half after the abortion it all caught up with me and I broke up with her.  Currently, I am looking for help to deal with my pain and some sort of forgiveness.


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