My name is Meghan and in October 2007 I had an abortion. At the age of nineteen, I fell captive into an abusive relationship with a much older, married man. I never wanted a sexual relationship, but I was kind of forced into it. When I was twenty-two years old, I became pregnant. When I found out I was pregnant, I instantly told the baby’s father that I was going to continue to carry and raise the baby. But that wasn’t the decision he made for me. He threw every emotional punch he could at me by telling me that I was going to be an awful mother, I wouldn’t be able to complete college, that he wouldn’t help me, and the biggest let down of all was that I was going to be a disappointment to my family. With his hurtful words weighing heavy on my heart, I became numb to my pregnancy and had an abortion.
Whenever I would try to bring the abortion up to the baby’s father, he would shut me down and told me that he didn’t want to hear about what we did and I shouldn’t be thinking about it either. I would wonder what was wrong with me because I could not stop thinking and mourning about my pregnancy and abortion. I had no one to talk to about this because no one knew I was pregnant.
After dating for a total of five years, we finally broke up. I had heated conversations with the Holy Spirit about telling my parents about my abortion. But one day I finally told them. Instead of them kicking me out of their lives, they instantly forgave me. That wasn’t the response I was expecting. And then I realized…I just experienced God’s grace! I knew that there was a chance that I could find healing for my abortion.
I contacted the Pregnancy Clinic of Bowie-Crofton. I met with a counselor who advised that I attend Rachel's Vineyard. I also took the Post Abortion Bible Study with the Pregnancy Clinic after attending Rachel's Vineyard. These two organizations assisted me in finding complete healing for my abortion and allowed me to mourn the loss of my precious baby! So here I am, telling you what was once my deepest and darkest secret… all because I refuse to be silent no more!