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My journey from darkness into the light....
I was sixteen and became pregnant.  I was told it was “My Choice”, this  is the first Grandchild  and I had to live with the decision.  At 3 mo’s along, I was told during the night that I would not be having my baby and that an abortion was scheduled for 9:00 am the next morning.  All was taken care of!  I could not bring shame to my family.  It was the best thing!  I begged to be sent to a home or give my baby up for adoption.   I was told to contact no one. It was only hours that I had left to hold on to the life growing inside me.

I had no idea that I would be such a part of the decision of Roe v Wade while learning in History class of the decision our country made and what really happens from an abortion.   No one spoke to me at the clinic.  There were 3 nurses and a Dr .  No sedation or anesthesia for pain.  Two nurses held me down.  Horrified over what was happening to me and my baby I began to cry out.  A nurse placed a washcloth in my mouth telling me to bite down on it , My screams were stifled    There were so many women in recliners crying and in pain.  Now, the problem was solved  I was told and we would never speak of it again.  

My spirit broken, I was numb.  I just blocked out the abortion.  The bizarre night behavior started.   I developed an eating disorder,  had unhealthy relationships and promiscuity.   Even after taking leaves from work to be hospitalized  three (3) times and five (5) outpatient programs I never once told anyone that I had an abortion.  

I began counseling at my church. I attended a retreat for healing that gave me strength to face my wounds, shame and suffering and taught me the love of God and His forgiveness.   

After 40 yrs, I have no guilt or shame.  I do not fear the dark and am surrounded by a great light from God.  I am whole again.  I share these wounds with other’s to know that there is healing after abortion   I walk in the Light!  And this is why, I am Silent No More!


Priests for Life
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