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Left up to Me
My abortion was on April 19, 1972, a horrible day I will never forget. I was a divorced mother with an eight year old daughter. The father of my baby and I had been going together for over a year. When I told him I was pregnant I hoped we would get married but he did not want to. When I went to the doctor to confirm my pregnancy he told me he could schedule an abortion for me. It was a difficult decision to make and I felt it was left up to me to decide. Deep down in my heart I knew abortion was wrong but what else could I do. I remember driving to the clinic that day feeling like I was in a bad dream, how could this be happening?

The clinic was very cold and dreary. They did not tell me that this blob of tissue, as it was referred to, was a baby with a heart beat or explain the risks involved; the possibility of an infection or perhaps never being able to have another baby. The nurse who assisted the doctor never smiled or gave a comforting touch or word. The doctor briefly explained the procedure, telling me there would be a sucking sound like a vacuum cleaner. He said there would be no pain. It was over just like that, my baby was pulled from my body. I went home and lay on the couch in the dark wondering what had I done! A few days later my doctor told me I had an infection in my uterus as a result of the abortion. 

There are many after effects of an abortion. I struggled with years of low self-esteem and alcohol abuse. I finally found help through a bible study offered at Care Net. It was during this study that I realized I was not alone in my grief, there were other woman struggling with the same after effects of abortion. I felt forgiven for the first time since my abortion. 

People need to know all of the pain caused by abortion and this why I am silent no more.


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