Mothers Whose Babies Were Killed by Abortion
Fathers Whose Babies Were Killed by Abortion
Former Abortion Providers
Women Who Chose Life
Mothers of Large Families
Children conceived through rape
Stories of pro-life commitment
America Will Not Reject Abortion Until America
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign, A Project
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"No one should have to go through this."
I don't know why I called my mother that day. I was getting ready to call my ob/gyn--back then the doctors wanted you to miss three full periods before coming in. I was sitting on my bed, making phone calls, and I called my mother. When I gave her the "good" news, she started SCREAMING at me over the phone. "If you DARE have another BABY this soon, YOU are definitely STUPIDER than I give you credit for!" (I had had my daughter, Elisaba, not even a year earlier) And she slammed down the phone. I just sat there for a while and then called my ob/gyn and asked if I could get an abortion. The receptionist (who had been so wonderful and nice during my previous pregnancy) barked off a phone number and hung up on me. (She didn't say Dr. So and So, just a 7 digit number) I called the number where they answered, "Hello". Again, not Dr. So and So's office. I was given an address, it was a private residence. I was examined to see if I was indeed pregnant. I was. The next morning, I checked into Rome Memorial/Mary Murphy Hospital (the same hospital my daughter was born at), this time in the surgery ward. I remember my husband dropped me at the front door and left. I sat in my room in a chair for a long time. Someone, maybe a nurse, asked me if I was going to change my clothes. I said, "I don't know if I'm going to stay...."
I have no memory from then on. I don't know how I got home. I imagine my husband drove me. The next thing I do remember is standing on my stairs at home. I had signed up to sell Tupperware, and this woman manager was in my living room NAGGING on me about parties and down lines. I was bleeding pretty heavily, and I remember collapsing.
From there, I began to drink. I would go out several times a week. My husband gave me my space. I started an affair and moved out from my husband and into the trailer of the person with whom I was having an affair. I flew home to Sacramento, CA that Christmas. My mother had sent me a one way ticket because she wanted to see my daughter, Elisaba. There was a promise of a return ticket, but it never happened. I became more and more promiscuous. I drank A LOT. I started snorting coke. My husband and I tried to reconcile, but I thought I was too damaged so I broke it off. I married two more times.
In 1990, I stopped drinking and drugging and sleeping around. But I never knew why I did it all. I told no one about the abortion and tried to forget it happened at all. Eventually, I went back to drinking and kept that up until just recently.
No one should have to go through this. Not the shame, the humiliation, the guilt; and that is why I am silent no more!
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