Mothers Whose Babies Were Killed by Abortion
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God is my Rock
My abortion experience:
I went to a Planned Parenthood office to see if I was pregnant. My boyfriend took me. I went into a room and took the pregnancy test. A short while later I was told to come to the front window. I was told that I was pregnant. The next question I was asked was what will you do about your pregnancy? I didn't know. I was so scared. Petrified--me, pregnant. Then my boyfriend went to the window. He found out that later in the week I could have an abortion. He made the appointment. I was so scared. My thoughts were, "What is an abortion?" I began to plead with my boyfriend. I said I didn't want one. He told me he would tell my mom. Right then I knew I had to have the abortion. My mom said to never come to her if I was pregnant.
The morning of the abortion I was so scared. I walked into the clinic with my head hung down. I had told my mom I was going to work. That was my lie to her. My boyfriend waited until I was called in the room. I was examined by the doctor. He asked if I was really pregnant. I said I was told I was three weeks pregnant. I then went into a room where many girls were also waiting. So scary! Some said this was their second or third abortion. I went on the table, all the time screaming. The nurse said she had one also. I awoke with a sick feeling in my stomach. I was told to go to the bathroom and wear a pad. So much blood. I was still silent. My boyfriend said to never tell anyone. He took me to a party that same day. I was so sick to my stomach. All I wanted to do was shrivel up into a ball.
Years later I meet a woman in one of my clubs. I had a bond with her. She was a paid person at a Pregnancy counseling center. As I talked about my abortion she said I should go to a retreat. I did, and I found relief. Others were like me. This woman came on the last day to say goodbye to my child. The long term effect is that every day I regret having the abortion. I did tell my church friends where I was going when I went on the retreat.
The experience haunts me every Easter. I was on mental health medications for many years. Too long to mention. I heard others telling me what to do. This boy was my only child. I feel lost since all I wanted was to be a mom. I am silent no more because the memory of this abortion haunts me. I wish all to receive choices and love like I got from my friend, the retreat, and the pregnancy counseling center. God is my rock and so is my husband.
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