Mothers Whose Babies Were Killed by Abortion
Fathers Whose Babies Were Killed by Abortion
Former Abortion Providers
Women Who Chose Life
Mothers of Large Families
Children conceived through rape
Stories of pro-life commitment
America Will Not Reject Abortion Until America
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Silent No More Awareness Campaign, A Project
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Never Escape the Pain
When I was 17, I realized I was pregnant. I told my mom and boyfriend about it, and I was forced to have an abortion. When I went to have the abortion, I couldn't do it after seeing the ultrasound. I was six weeks.
When I got home my mom kicked me out, and I was alone. My boyfriend didn't want anything to do with me, and I was afraid. I decided to tell my mom that I would come home, and I had the abortion. That day I was so sad and hated myself. I remember a black lady helping me get dressed. When I was leaving, I asked to speak to the lady, and they told me that no black lady worked there. I truly believe I will see that lady in heaven when I see my babies again.
Yes, I said babies... After my abortion I started smoking weed and drinking heavily. I was on a roller coaster of emotions and did not feel that I should be alive, so I didn't care about what happened to me. I got pregnant against 19. I decided to have another abortion. I told the guy, and he paid for it, even though he asked me to not have an abortion. I did it anyway. I thought that I wouldn't care. I bought five Xanax to take before and after the procedure because I knew it would numb me. For about three years after the procedure I continued on the path of destruction, taking drugs to numb me.
When I was 22 I was pregnant again. I decided to keep the baby... best decision I ever made. She saved me! I am so blessed that I was given not just a second chance but a third. Since having daughter I have changed my life. I live for my daughter and now son. I had another baby at 28.
I still live with the guilt and shame of my past abortions. I pray for forgiveness, and I know I have been forgiven, but the pain of knowing what I did still hurts! I doubt it will ever leave, and I guess that's the least punishment I can give myself for the selfish act made.
I will never know if my babies were boys or girls--what they would have been like, what they would have liked doing, what their personalities would have been. I robbed not one but two precious children of their lives. I hope that when I get to heaven they will love me and forgive me, and I will be able to hug and kiss them and tell them how so sorry I am.
I haven’t asked for support from anyone, because I'm too ashamed. I hope my story will help someone, or keep someone from having an abortion. It was the worst thing I have ever done in my life--I will never escape the pain!
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