I am Julia from Toronto, Canada. I stand here today to tell you that I Regret My Abortion.This is how it started:
In 1976 at age 21, I was an independent, healthy woman who was sexually active and – who suddenly had deal with the consequences of living that life – I was PREGNANT.
But my circumstances also involved : (1) new job, with (2) school debts, (3) no savings; (4) not married; (5) my peers were single and childless;– all these affected my reaction: – abortion was the ONLY choice I considered and it would be my SECRET.
I placed my trust in a doctor I found and the abortion took place in a major hospital, under anaesthetic. Everyone, including me, played our part in this procedure, to get it over and done with. I then returned to work the next day on the assumption I was perfectly OK.
B U T around 10 years after the abortion, after marriage and following the birth of my wonderful children, I found that I was experiencing: nightmares, insecurity, distrust, anxiety, indecision - I gradually became less and less able to manage all the basic tasks of day-to-day living and my life spiraled downward into depression.
For the next 12 years I went from therapy to therapy, but these did not help. My marriage failed – my full time job failed!
Why couldn't we get to the ROOT cause?
23 years after the abortion, that secret of mine was exposed – when I read these words:
"If you are depressed from having had an abortion, help is available..."
Well - My entire body was frozen! Depression = abortion. Abortion = depression.
At that moment, my body knew the truth that my conscience had to deal with my choice - The abortion had changed me!
I managed to gather my courage and I made the call for help.
I shared my secret and journeyed with other men and women through a healing process and in a confidential, welcoming group which focused on post-abortion trauma.
I learned: My baby was real! I named her Marissa - AND I finally let myself grieve the loss of her life – my body and soul had been waiting for so long to grieve.
I repented of this sin of my choice AND received forgiveness. I’ve integrated the healing process, including issues of trust and decision making, and returned to full time employment. It has been 20 years now AND an amazing outcome is that I experience JOY in my life – with family, friends and all of you.
I regret my abortion. I don't want you to suffer as I had. That is why I am silent no more!