I really thought I was okay for about twenty-two years, even though I felt a sense of depression, loneliness and pain. I’m not sure of the reason.
I was invited by Emily Gonzalez, in 2011, to a Rachel's Vineyard weekend Retreat in Spanish, after my daughter lost her baby, and I told Emily I had worked at a GYN doctor’s office where abortions were performed. I also helped set up appointments for abortions.
I worked there for about three weeks. About a week into working I found out that there was a doctor there who performed late-term abortions up to twenty-six weeks.
That didn't sit well with me since at that time I really thought it was "just a blood clot."
We had just moved to Florida from New Jersey and my husband didn't have a job yet. As soon as he found a job I quit. In fact, I remember leaving around the middle of the day. I left crying and told the office manager I couldn't do it anymore because the "late term" abortions tore my heart apart.
At the retreat, then and only then, I realized the depth of the pain I had caused not only for myself, but also for many other women. As I heard and saw the extreme pain these women were in, and how many babies I helped murder, I felt like all the women that I set those appointments for were there next to me and I could hear them crying and suffering and I could see the babies I helped murder.
Through this beautiful Rachel's Vineyard Retreat, I found the beautiful mercy our Lord Jesus Christ has given us and how much he LOVES us and wants us to serve him to help bring others to him, and to fight the war for the unborn, for those little souls that do not have a voice.
And how our LORD works…When my Mom was pregnant with me her Doctor told her that this would be her 12th child and she and the baby would be at risk of dying and she said “well aren’t ever going to die?” “Well if it is God’s will for me to die, then let it be, for it is the same for me to die today or tomorrow.” “Who knows if this one will be the one looking out for me when I am an old lady.” (And that is exactly how it was; I was there for her until she died December 24, 2010 at 3:00 p.m. Divine Mercy hour.)
May God pour his mercy upon each person that reads my story and help you also be that warrior God wants us all to be! Amen.