I Found Myself Alone and Afraid

Alabama,  United States
I want to share my story hoping that it may touch someone  who has had an abortion and is living in shame.

I left home when I was 17- my parents divorced- my father abandoned me and my mother neglected me.  I was bullied in school and attempted suicide…
Fast forward- I was introduced to this older man-  he claimed he loved me - I of course hungry for attention fell for him-  I wound up pregnant and he then decided our relationship was not working out.   

I found myself alone and afraid.  I moved out of state and into a family members home-  There was not one person who supported me.  No one telling me everything would be okay. No one wanted the burden of a baby.  It was just easier to get rid of the problem.  

What was going through my mind?  Confusion-  I had no idea that at conception there was a human being in my womb-After all it was only a clump of tissue.

I was given $500 and dropped off at the door of the abortion clinic-   I remember People standing outside SCREAMING calling me a Baby Killer among other names.   I don’t recall one gentle approach-Inside were many girls my age- We filled out paper work - money collected - we spoke with a counselor-   providing information on how the procedure would be-  The Dr. will take an instrument and Suck out all of the Tissue-You May feel pressure but it will only last a few minutes.  Oh and we will give you something so you will be nice and relaxed . It will make you nice and comfortable. 

Girls in gowns - all sitting in a assembly line- drugged up - waiting their turn.  
Were these woman working in this clinic just as nieve as I was?  Did they really think they were helping me?  They seemed so trustworthy..
After my abortion no one spoke of it _  It was not talked about-   A few years later- I married and had my first baby.

My abortion resurfaced- Shame hit me hard-  I heard people (Pro-Life) saying abortion was murder ect.   I heard chatter with Pro-Choice, well they had a completely different story.  I was hurt and just wanted my shame to go away…. I moved forward in life- sweeping my abortion under the rug.   I wanted nothing to do with the Topic. 
 …Years later I came to know Christ-   My abortion again resurfaced-  This time a Godly Sorrow hit me.  I began to understand God is the Creator of All life..and it is our responsibility to protect what was given to us by God….    PRO-LIFE is not only about the unborn - it is also about the mothers who have aborted their babies-  the ones who need comfort- the ones who are scared and have no idea how they are going to bring a baby into this world by themselves—.  They need TRUTH and Grace….   

For those who have had abortions - God Forgives-   We must also Forgive ourselves.
I still have the memory of what I did but I no longer live in shame….
God has taken me through process of healing and now I can tell my story with Grace and Truth.

Priests for Life