The Monthly e-Newsletter of Rachel's Vineyard Ministries
August, 2005
Rachel's Vineyard is on the web at:
www.rachelsvineyard.org
Our national toll-free hotline is (877) HOPE-4-ME.
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Rachel’s Vineyard weekend retreats for emotional and spiritual healing after
abortion are held internationally. Rachel’s Vineyard welcomes, women, men,
couples, grandparents and abortion providers. Our retreats are held in both
Catholic and Interdenominational settings. Rachel's Vineyard Ministries is a
resource for clinical training, education, and healing models.
Rachel’s Vineyard is a non-profit 501(c) 3 organization. All contributions
are tax deductible.
We work in close partnership with Priests for Life and Gospel of Life
Ministries.
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CONTENTS
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Let us seize the moment, time and people our Lord places in our path. Cherish
one another with the love of Christ.
Jim Pinto
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Scars of Abortion
By Karen Herzog
In 1983, Carol Kling was 23, pregnant and scared.
More than 20 years later, Kling, now 45, conducts retreats for Rachel's
Vineyard, a ministry of the Catholic Church to women and men suffering from
spiritual and emotional pain as the result of an abortion.
Kling has been conducting Rachel's Vineyard retreats since 2000, two each
year in South Dakota and one a year in North Dakota.
Each time, she relives the pain of her own abortion. She said she puts
herself through it to help others feel that they are not alone.
Kling, who lives in Lemmon, S.D., will lead a Rachel's Vineyard retreat in
Bismarck April 8-10 in coordination with the Bismarck Catholic Diocese.
This is the Bismarck Diocese's third retreat; the diocese tries to plan one
per year, said Joyce McDowall, director of the Office of Family Ministry for the
diocese.
While attendance has been small, the effects are large, McDowall said.
"What happens afterward is wonderful, the changing, the freeing of
themselves."
Young and scared
Fear, Kling said, was the driving force in her life at the time she had an
abortion.
"I was overtaken by fear ... in a new city with just a boyfriend and I," she
said.
At the time she feared her boyfriend would abandon her. Though eventually
they did marry and stayed together for 10 years, at the time, "everything
circled around fear," she said. She believes she could have turned to her
family, but didn't.
"I knew they would be supportive," she said, have her come home and be "their
little girl." But Kling didn't want that -- she wanted to be on her own and make
her own decisions.
"I felt pressured and I didn't feel confident enough in myself to fight off
the pressure. I felt backed into a corner," she said.
When she called an abortion clinic in Oklahoma City, she said she got no
advice except to ask how far along she was. When she said 11 weeks, she was told
she needed to make a decision by the next day.
Women are told that since abortion is legal, it's not a big deal, but many
walk around wondering why they feel angry, why they have recurring dreams, said
Shelly Stone of Thief River Falls, Minn., director of a crisis pregnancy center
and coordinator of Rachel's Vineyard retreats for the Fargo Catholic Diocese.
Some women who have had abortions never conceptualize the child, so they've
never grieved it, she said.
Even in miscarriages, it's important to grieve the child, Stone said -- give
them a name, the dignity of their life and then let them go.
'Are you sure?'
Kling said she was already dressed in a surgical robe in a room with a bunch
of other girls in robes, when a nurse offered the closest thing to counseling
she got -- "Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked Kling.
"I don't even remember if I said anything, or maybe shrugged," she said, as
the nurse handed her some kind of a pill.
She still doesn't know what it was -- Valium, maybe.
She remembers only painful, strong cramping, a doctor who would not make eye
contact with her and a nurse who seemed to be trying to distract her, hold her
down or shield the doctor's face.
"From the moment it happened," Kling said, "that vacuum sound sucked much
more out of me than an embryo. It ripped part of my soul out. I do not remember
another thing until being home in bed."
Afterward, she stayed in bed for several days, crying.
As a nearby heater automatically turned on and off, its vacuum-like hum
replayed that operating room sound again and again, she said.
The abortion wasn't spoken of again until a few years ago, after she found
healing, Kling said.
She then called her former husband and learned he had suffered as much as she
did, she said.
"When we decided to have kids, it took four years to get pregnant," Kling
said. They had a little girl, her only child. Two years later, she conceived
again but had a tubal pregnancy.
Deep in denial
It took a long time for Kling to recover her memories of the abortion, she
said.
She had left the church, but as she got older and her daughter grew, she
wanted to go back.
Kling did try to return to Mass. But every time, to her embarrassment, she
would start sobbing. "I couldn't figure out what was going on," she said. "So
far into denial, I had totally forgotten it happened."
Finally, a concerned friend invited her to a prayer group. It was there a
huge light bulb went off. "I knew I had to deal with this," she said.
She went to the priest for advice.
"After he cried with me," she said, he offered counsel -- "to take something
tangible to a place that would be very special to me and to God and have my own
private memorial for my children."
At that place, Kling laid on the grass and cried.
The wind was blowing about 40 miles an hour that day, but Kling couldn't feel
the cold.
Exhausted from weeping, she took the roses she had brought and threw them in
the air.
"God," she asked, "take my babies."
As the roses blew, they formed a cross in the air, and falling, they lay at
the bottom of a hill, still in the shape of a cross, she said.
The next time she went to Mass, she cried tears of joy, she said.
"I knew finally that I was forgiven. The thing about an abortion is you don't
know how to accept God's forgiveness," Kling said. "You think you're not capable
of being forgiven.
"That's the beauty of this retreat, to teach you how to forgive yourself,"
she said.
The first thing people receive from the retreat is knowing they're not alone,
she said.
"It's such a secret. It's hard to imagine someone else feeling as bad as they
do.
"God took away all my shame and guilt, which was huge. I want other people to
know they're not alone," she said.
Far from God
The retreat is based on living scripture, Kling said. Before someone comes on
the retreat, they feel very far removed from God, she said. As they walk
meditatively through Bible stories, they imagine Christ speaking to them, she
said.
"They ask Christ to heal their wounds. They verbalize their own hurt.
Sometimes it's the first time in many years they feel worthy enough to be in the
presence of Christ," she said.
Kling always looks forward to Sunday morning after a retreat. "No matter what
they feel Saturday night, transformation happens," she said.
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"When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get
involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing
you are working to make things better."
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Gather with Us in Harvesting Our Vineyard
In John Chapter 6, verses 1-15 Jesus feeds a crowd of five thousand men.
After Jesus fed the crowd He asked His disciples to "Gather the pieces left
over; let us not waste a bit." Even the crumbs were important. Sometimes when we
work in the vineyard we are tired and hungry. We too want to be fed by Christ,
and in turn feed others. In John’s Gospel Jesus is feeding us with His word. He
is calling us today to gather the fragments by opening our hearts to those who
are wounded with guilt, grief, and shame.
Jesus is calling us to reach out to and minister to every individual that is
suffering because of an abortion. He wants to heal the brokenness that causes
spiritual poverty and feed us with peace, hope, and reconciliation.
Please consider becoming a worker in His vineyard. The harvest is plenty but
the laborers are few. Please support our efforts with your prayers and assist us
by sending a tax-deductible donation of $1,000…$500.00…$100.00…or even $25 to
defray our training and retreat costs.
You may join our efforts by clicking here:
www.rachelsvineyard.org/support/support.htm
to donate via credit card or PayPal. Alternatively, send an e-mail directly to
me at
t.burke@rachelsvineyard.org
and I will forward a postage-paid envelope. May God Bless you!
Theresa Burke, Ph.D.
Founder; Executive Director, Rachel’s Vineyard Ministries
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There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave
most in life -- happiness, freedom, and peace of mind -- are always attained by
giving them to someone else.
Peyton March
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A Message from our Pastoral Director
Dear Friends,
I hope these summer days are bringing you some refreshment and relaxation,
along with new energy to serve the Lord and His Kingdom of Life.
During these days when preparations are being made to confirm a new Supreme
Court Justice, we should think of the implications this has for healing those
wounded by abortion. After all, anger at those who made the abortion possible is
a normal aspect of the distress that follows abortion, and those on the Supreme
Court who vote to keep abortion legal are certainly among those who make it
possible. Justice Sandra Day O’Connor in fact voted to uphold Roe vs. Wade in
the 1992 Casey decision. Now she is stepping down from the Court, and all
indications are that the Court will now move one step further in a pro-life
direction.
That is significant for healing, because people don’t live with their wounds
in a vacuum. The people who need healing are the same people who will see, in
the next month, the daily news reports about the Supreme Court and abortion.
Hopefully, they will be led to pray for the Justices, new and old. Hopefully, as
an aspect of their healing, they will be able to join in the activity that
citizens are being invited to take to move the Court closer to protecting women
and their unborn children. Hopefully, the nation itself will come a step closer
to healing as a result of the confirmation process about to take place.
Healing is very much about restoring connections. Let’s not miss the
significance of this one.
Fr. Frank Pavone
Pastoral Director
Chairman of the Board
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"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If
you obey my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my
Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my
joy may be in you and that you joy may be complete. My commandment is this: Love
each other as I have loved you." (John 15.9-12)
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Book of the Month
Waiting for the World to End
By Nicole Hunter
Thomas Olsen is hiding a devastating secret. He is the chairman of the
English department and basketball coach at an Indiana HS. Despite his
popularity, he cannot stop feeling guilty and lonely about the secret that has
been haunting him for so many years. He develops a father-son bond with Ben, one
of his students and player. He falls in love with his Ben’s mother and together
they try to help him get some restoration of his life until something changes
the course of all their futures.
Waiting for the World to End by Nicole Hunter has just received the Book of
the Year Silver Award for religious fiction from ForeWord Magazine. Award
winners were announced at Book Expo America in New York on June 3, 2005.
Author Nicole Hunter shares: "Many readers have e-mailed me to say that the
book has been a source of real support in their post-abortion trauma and healing
process. I feel infinitely blessed and grateful to have a small part in helping
others heal this deep, deep pain. I pray that your featuring "Waiting for the
World to End" in the Rachel's Vineyard newsletter will help many more people,
now and in the days to come."
Visit
https://www.nicolehunterbooks.com
for more information.
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Speaking Events & Training Schedule
August 15 -18, 2005 World Youth Day 2005 Germany
Theresa will be presenting with Domus Vitae on post abortion healing on Tuesday,
August 16th at 11:00 40225 Dusseldorf, Ludgerrusstr.2 Contact Pierre Coppin
pierreclaire@free.fr or Stephanie
Rimoux at
info@domus-vitae.com For access maps
visit
www.domus-vitae.com
September 26 - October 1, 2005 American Association of Christian Counseling
World Conference
Pre-Conference Presenters "Take Me to the Cross" – Theresa and Kevin Burke
Nashville, Tennessee
Make your reservations today visit
www.aacc.net
or call 1-800-526-8673
October 1, 2005 Pennsylvania Pro Life Federation Conference
Contact: Lisa Neuhauser (717) 541-0034
October 7, 2005 Fundraising Banquet for Rachel's Vineyard in Iowa
Contact: Maria Shores (319) 665-9588
October 7-8, 2005 Clinical Training in Iowa
Contact: Maria Shores: (319) 665-9588
October 10, 2005 Eucharistic Vigil at Basilica in DC
Contact: Maureen Flynn (703) 447-3571
October 18, 2005 Clinical Training Seminar Rutgers' University,
Camden New Jersey CE credits available
October 20, 2005 Clinical Training Seminar
Contact: Vincent P. Gale, Director, CCHD / CRS 517 342 2470
300 W. Ottawa St. Lansing, MI 48933
October 27-28, 2005 American Academy of Bereavement
Theresa presenting Clinical Training on Post Abortion Trauma
Phoenix, AZ
Contact: Kathy Brunner Program Director 716-332-0287 ext 101
CMI Education Institute
892 Main Street
Buffalo, NY 14202
November 13-18, 2005 International Leadership Training Conference for
Rachel's Vineyard Oakland, California
Contact: Monika Rodman (510) 267-8335
MRodman@oakdiocese.org
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Rachel’s Vineyard International Leadership Conference
"Becoming Fruitful Vines for an Abundant Harvest"
San Damiano Retreat, Danville, CA
November 13 through 18, 2005
Rachel's Vineyard Ministries is delighted to bring its annual National
Leadership Conference to the West Coast. Hosted by the Diocese of Oakland's
After the Choice Post-Abortion Outreach, this year's conference is open to those
already laboring in the field of post-abortion ministry, those engaged more
generally in pastoral care, as well as licensed mental health and medical
professionals, clergy and lay chaplains, spiritual directors and retreat
leaders. We extend a special welcome to those who have newly discovered the
life-transforming power of the Rachel's Vineyard model of healing.
This year's conference begins Sunday evening, November 13, 2005 and continues
through Friday late afternoon, November 18. Sessions specific to Rachel's
Vineyard will begin Sunday evening and continue through Wednesday morning,
November 16. Feedback from past conferences has suggested the need to allow
participants some "down time" to rest, refresh and begin to absorb what they
have taken in through the workshops. For this reason, Wednesday afternoon and
early evening are free for time to either relax around the retreat center or
take part in an optional off-site excursion. There are two excursion options:
Either a San Francisco City Tour or a Winery Tour.
By popular demand, we will once again welcome Greg Magirescu to lead us in
musical prayer. Another special treat will be a concert and Eucharistic Holy
Hour with Nationally acclaimed recording artist, Michael John Poirier.
Wednesday night we will re-convene the entire group at the retreat center and
Thursday morning we continue with a two-day workshop on healing ministry given
by internationally renowned healing pioneers Dennis, Sheila and Matthew Linn.
Conference attendees are strongly encouraged, though not required, to stay for
both days of the Linn workshop, as it promises to be personally enriching and
offer concrete tools to those engaged in various healing ministries. Many of the
Linns books, on topics ranging from 12-step recovery to healing pre-natal hurts,
healing the family tree, healing our image of God and healing of our life's
purpose, will be available for purchase during the final days of the conference.
Workshop selections will take place on-site. In other words, there is no need
to commit to specific workshops at the time of registration. Participants may
choose individual sessions as freely as they wish, while others may principally
take workshops in one of the four tracks offered this year: Foundational Issues,
Clinical Skills, Outreach, or Personal and Team Growth.
In short, this year's Leadership Conference will allow those new to Rachel's
Vineyard to learn, pray and network alongside those who are richly experienced
in offering Rachel's Vineyard retreats and support groups. Those working in
other fields of spiritual care and human development are also warmly welcome.
- Workshops and Discussion will help you cultivate the vineyard of our
shared ministry in the place where God is using you.
- Prayer and Praise will lift our hearts to God and celebrate the Holy
Spirit's work in our lives and in the lives of those we serve.
- Chaplains and Mental Health Professionals will be available throughout the
conference to pray with you, celebrate sacramental reconciliation, or help you
process personal issues touched by the conference.
- The Linns' two-day Pastoral Care Workshop will open you to God's continued
healing and equip you with additional tools to serve as an instrument of God's
healing in the lives of others.
- Fun and Fellowship will include music, free time, optional excursions and
the renewal and building of friendships.
We anticipate our gathering to include participants and presenters working in
various parts of North America and internationally. Space at the lovely San
Damiano Retreat is limited to 120 participants, so early registration is highly
recommended.
___Plan A: $430 (Arriving Sunday, 11/13 for 5 nights, departing Friday,
11/18. Includes all fees for lodgings, meals, RV conference and 2-day Linn
workshop.
___Plan B: $360 (For those who need to depart early: Arriving Sunday, 11/13
for only 4 nights, departing anytime Thursday, 11/17. Includes all fees for
lodgings, meals, RV conference and day one of 2-day Linn workshop (you may stay
for as much of the Linns' first day as you are able).
lodgings in double room and all meals, excluding travel.
For Complete Conference & Registration Information visit
https://www.rachelsvineyard.org/training/conferences/2005_conference.htm
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Upcoming Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat Schedule (August -
September)
For a complete listing of future Rachel’s Vineyard Retreats visit
www.rachelsvineyard.org
August 5-7, 2005 -- Tampa, Florida
Contact: Emma Boe 813 631 4370
August 5-7, 2005 -- Cedar Falls, Iowa
Contact: Maria Shores 319 530 2597 (mobile)
August 5-7, 2005 -- Fort Worth, Texas
Note: Interdenominational Retreat
Contact: Betsy Kopor 817 923 4757
August 5-7, 2005 -- Cork City, Ireland
Contact: Bernadette 087 859 2877
Contact: Dr. Rita O'Connor 061 468 570
August 5-7, 2005 --Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Contact: Susan Lepak 405 721 5651 ext 107
August 5-7, 2005 -- Hays, Kansas
Contact: Donetta Robben 785 623 7531
August 5-7, 2005 -- Edwardsville, Illinois
-- St. Louis, Missouri
Contact: Karen 618-667-6571 ext 20
August 5-7, 2005 -- Scottsdale, Arizona
Contact: Ronnajean 623 551 3667
August 5-7, 2005 -- Atlanta, Georgia
Contact: Mary Ann McNeal 404 896 6521
Contact: Rachel's Vineyard Atlanta
Website: Healing After Abortion
August 12-14, 2005 -- Bridgman, Michigan
Contact: Sue Brazo 269-683-7831 or 269-687-1581
August 12-14, 2005 -- Minneapolis / St. Paul, Minnesota
Contact: Nancy Blom 952 882 2072
August 19-21, 2005 -- Fort Worth, Texas
Contact: Betsy Kopor 817 923 4757
August 19-21, 2005 -- Portland, Maine
Contact: Project Rachel Coordinator 207 879 1130 ext 770 or 771
Toll-free in Maine only: 800 CARE 002
August 26-28, 2005 -- Sevierville / Gatlinburg, Tennessee
Note: Interdenominational Retreat
Sponsor: A.R.I.S.E.
Contact: Judy Magnussen 423 266 8322
August 26-28, 2005 -- Fort Caswell Wilmington, North Carolina
Local host: Mended Heart Ministries
Note: Interdenominational retreat
Contact: Marsha Tucker 336 247 0651
August 26-28, 2005 -- Cork City, Ireland
Contact: Bernadette 087 859 2877
Contact: Dr. Rita O'Connor 061 468 570
September 9-11, 2005 -- Setubal, Portugal
Contact: Claudia Muller 91 735 4602
Contact: Psicologa Maria Jose Vilaca
Diocese de Setubal
September 9-11, 2005-- Arlington, Virginia
Local host: Diocese of Arlington
Contact: Myriam 703 729 7998
September 9-11, 2005 -- Palm Beach, Florida
Contact: Donna Gardner 561 746 7954 or 1 877 908 1212
Retreat Location: Our Lady of Florida Spiritual Center
September 9-11, 2005 -- Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Contact: Stephanie Claudy 866 4 RACHEL
September 9-11, 2005 -- Dallas (Español), Texas
Contactar: Aurora 972 679 4760
September 9-11, 2005 -- Yakima, Washington
Contact: Virginia Santillanes 509-554-9415
Immaculate Heart Retreat Center - Spokane, WA
September 16-18, 2005 -- Tulsa, Oklahoma
Contact: Mary Lee 918 585 8167 ext. 212
September 16-18, 2005 -- Sacramento, California
Contact: Kathy Conner 916 733 0161
September 16-18, 2005 -- Youngstown, Ohio
Contact: Brenda Dama 330 519 8838
Contact: Br. Vit Fiala 330 799 1888
September 16-18, 2005 -- Linden, New Jersey
Contact: Michelle Krystofik 732 388 8211
September 16-18, 2005 -- Portland, Oregon
Contact: Lori Eckstine 800 249 8074 or 541 521 5186
September 16-18, 2005 -- Covington, Kentucky / Cincinnati, Ohio
Contact: Gloria Santoro 513 588 9669
Contact: Peggy Feirstine
September 23-25, 2005-- Richmond, Virginia
Contact: Kay Marie Geiger 804 330 3137
September 23-25, 2005 -- Romeoville, Illinois
Local host: Joliet Diocesan Life Office
Contact: Kay Corcoran 815 838 7171
September 23-25, 2005 -- Willimantic, Connecticut
Local host: Immaculata Retreat House
Contact: Mary Hayden 203 882 1326
September 23-25, 2005 -- Stockton, California
Contact: Nancy or Kim 209 465 5433
September 23-25, 2005 -- Fairfield County, Connecticut
Contact: Clarissa Cincotta 203 218 0291
September 23-25, 2005 -- Wichita, Kansas
Local host: Rachel's Vineyard of the Diocese of Wichita
Contact: Yvonne or Lori 316 269 4673 or 1-888-456-4673 (statewide only)
September 30- October 2, 2005 -- Janesville, Wisconsin
Contact: Cheryl Ryan 608 755 9739 or 608 754 0309
Local host: Pregnancy Helpline of Janesville
Note: Interdenominational retreat
September 30 - October 2, 2005 --North Providence, Rhode Island
Local host: Rachel Vineyard Retreats of Southern New England
Contact: Sheila Kuzmic 401 348 8874
Contact: Joan Pendergast 401-861-2069
Contact: Gail Picard 401-447-3279
September 30 - October 2, 2005 -- San Jose, California
Contact Mary Peter 408 426 7343 or 888 467 3790
September 30 - October 2, 2005 --Phoenix, Arizona
Contact: Margarita Marquez 480 755 3760
Contact: Dianna Contreras 480 966 1902 ext 101
September 30 - October 2, 2005 -- Richmond, Virginia
Note: Interdenominational retreat
Contact: Gordon and Deborah Frantzich 540 775 5147
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To subscribe to this newsletter: Send an e-mail to
newsletter@rachelsvineyard.org
Type "SUBSCRIBE VINE & BRANCHES" in the subject line or body of your e-mail.
Publisher: Rachel's Vineyard Ministries
Editor: Theresa Burke, Ph.D.
Comments and questions:
t.burke@rachelsvineyard.org
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Rachel's Vineyard ® All rights reserved.
© 2005
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