Lydia
I was 19 years old when I had my first abortion. My boyfriend and I initially decided to get married and have our baby. But when we told our parents, his parents were critical and told him to make me have an abortion, that we were too young to get married and have a family. I wanted to run away at the abortion clinic, but my boyfriend threatened to kill me and the baby if I left. My pregnancy was too far along for the suction abortion procedure and so they perforated my uterus and suctioned the right arm off my baby and he bled to death. I became very depressed after the abortion experience and I was self-destructive, experimenting with drugs and alcohol. I became more promiscuous as a result and got pregnant again. I felt numb and indifferent about the second and third abortions.
I got married to the father of my future children, after the birth of our first child I began to feel remorse for the abortions. I sought out counseling. I was working at a rehab hospital at the time and knew a psychiatrist, he was not helpful. Eventually I found Christian counseling through my church and began the path of healing. I felt God's leading in volunteering at a Crisis Pregnancy Center and went through their training program.
However, they requested that I go through their post-abortion class before I began counseling. That was very helpful and I felt totally healed and forgiven! I attended a large city church and asked the pastor if I could speak to the youth about teen pregnancy, he said "NO!" the youth in our church do not fornicate"!
We moved to another town shortly after that with my husband's work. There were no Crisis Pregnancy centers in the new town. The Lord has brought many women into my life over the year that I was blessed to pray with and mentor through their healing process because "I was silent no more"! Hallelujah!