Mis primeras decisiones las tomé desde el miedo y la confusión. Mi primer aborto lo hice con pastillas, temiendo no tener apoyo de mi familia y sin orientación. Inmediatamente sentí un vacío profundo, miedo y dolor en mi corazón.
Being Christian, I said no and started to cry. He said that at that moment (at 8 weeks), it was just a piece of tissue, so I shouldn’t worry about anything. He also told me that they have counselors that can help me take an informed decision. All this happened in the Catholic nation of Colombia where abortions were still illegal…
While other girls my age were celebrating their sweet sixteen birthdays and stepping into womanhood with excitement, I was lying on an abortion table, ending the life of my first child. That was my tragic entrance into womanhood.
I chose abortion because I was afraid—afraid of being a single mother, of poverty, and of losing my future. I believed the lie that abortion was a quick fix and told myself it was “just a blob of tissue.”
I was 21 and had been raped, even still I wanted to keep my baby…too much pressure so I caved in.
There are too many women and men in this world, and even in our own Church, walking around with a painful secret that we need to confront. These women and men need to know that they can seek love and forgiveness here and, more importantly, with God. They need not face this painful secret alone; they can find forgiveness and healing. They can stop feeling the shame and guilt that comes with their secret.
My conscience said abortion was wrong, but I convinced myself it wasn't a baby yet. When a sidewalk counselor stopped me, I refused to listen. She represented the Holy Spirit trying to stop me. Internally, I was shaking my fist at God, refusing to listen to HIM.
At my planned parenthood appointment, it seemed abortion was no big deal. I was told it was only tissue removal and did not consider any other options. Within a month after my abortion, I attempted suicide and was admitted to mesa vista rehab. I was ashamed of myself for many reasons and continued to cover it with drug use and alcohol.
Polly and Frank share their testimonies and how they found healing after abortion.
All those years of guilt and shame were nailed to the cross and I know I can speak openly about my past and be at peace with my past because of what Christ did for me. I still feel sad at times, but this is normal when a parent loses a child. And that’s exactly what abortion is. The loss of a child.
I don’t know how I did it, but I did. Again, I told no one with the exception of two friends. For the next 40 years, I pretty much buried it. I acted as though Nothing happened.
In 1996, I lost a baby girl to the horrific sentence of an abortion. My then girlfriend, and mother of my baby, was too concerned about her family’s reaction about getting pregnant out of wedlock.