During the abortions I had a mix of emotions of pity for the other women and girls who were there and at the same time judgement. I wonder if any of them felt the same way towards me.
I proceeded to get my pills and prescriptions and went home to “do the deed” I cried so much I felt so bad inside and couldn’t explain why. I took the pills anyway. Scared and feeling “too old to be a mother to yet another kid” I cried myself to sleep for days.
I cried in private. Everyone acted like abortion was normal, so I hid my true feelings. I rubbed my womb and talked to the little thing growing in me and apologized countless times beforehand.
I remember trying to get off the table, and being held down, I was saying how badly it hurts, and crying out several time and them telling me to be quiet.. Afterwards I was completely empty, void of feeling or emotion... not numb, void. I left my boyfriend shortly after.
I felt numb, I had to go to the abortion clinic by myself and I will never forget how scared I was and the pain I felt that day.
The experience is difficult to describe, it causes me anxiety and sadness 45 years later. The experience to this day causes me sadness, crying, and depression and rumination. Sometimes I have to leave a room when a speaker talks about abortion.
Hope and healing from my 2 abortions took several years. The silence and putting it out of my mind swept up in waves of emotions I didn't understand. I'm so thankful that the truth is being brought into the light. I know that I know, I will see my children in Heaven! That God loves me, and that I am forgiven!
I was numb throughout the experience and the sequel continued. Casually dating, having unprotected sex, and getting pregnant and having an abortion. All my friends where doing it, and I didn’t think it was a problem.
I have known for a long time that God has forgiven me, but now I know my children have, too, which has allowed me to forgive myself.
I never wanted an abortion, I was awake when they did it, it was a horrible experience. I could feel them pulling my baby out of my body. I cried the whole way home. I was extremely depressed afterwards.
I had my abortion because I was forced to by my mother. I tried to get help, but nobody would listen that she was going to make me kill my very wanted baby. I was 15 and I was pro-life, all my life.
I have asked for forgiveness. I have received forgiveness. The empty hole has been filled with love. Jesus died on the cross so our sins would be forgiven. Jesus died on the cross so I would be forgiven, they were babies, they did have a soul, they were formed, they were life.